Chelsea and Dani squeeze me into a hug from either side, and I embrace them back, too stunned to do anything else. Emma smiles at me and then makes a show of grabbing her luggage and taking it outside for the driver to load into the van.
I turn away from her only to see Mrs. Jackson studying me carefully with one eyebrow lifted in interest, like I’m a specimen she finds surprisingly fascinating.
The girls finally release me, and I turn to Chelsea. “It should be you. You’ve done all of this before. You deserve it.”
Dani rolls her eyes at me. “Chelsea voted for you.”
“That’s because you can’t vote for yourself.”
“Do you think this one would have any problem voting for herself if she thought she was the best person for the job?”
Chelsea shrugs, patting down a sprig of hair that’s come loose from her bun. “Sometimes being a leader is about knowing when it’s not about you, doing the right thing for the team.”
“I just did what anyone would have done,” I protest.
Dani snorts. “No,anyonewould have just pretended like they never heard it.”
“I couldn’t do that.”
“Exactly,” Chelsea says. “That’s our point.Youcouldn’t do that.”
I want to argue more, but then I’d have to reveal everything. I’d have to talk about how Gibby might have been grooming me too and how Dani coming forward probably saved me from him and how a wild mix of guilt, fear, gratitude, and friendship crystallized into a willingness to give up my lifelong dream to ensure that man would rot in prison for the rest of his life. And I’m not ready to do that. Leo knows, and for now that’s enough. So instead I just shrug my shoulders and give up.
Dani laughs. “See? We’re right.”
“C’mon, Cap,” Chelsea says over her shoulder as she pulls her luggage through the front door. “Tokyo is calling!”
The ride out of Coronado is bittersweet, especially with the sun rising in the distance, giving the world a golden hue as we speed over the bridge back into San Diego. When we arrived here, it was with shock and sadness, and more than a little bit of terror. My newly minted captaincy aside, the shock is gone—there is very little in the world that could shock me anymore. The sadness? That’s still there, but it’s different, muted, like background noise. And the terror? Well, that’s taken on a new form entirely. From the fear of my Olympic dreams being dead to the fear that now I’m the only one who can control their outcome … I’m not sure which is scarier, really.
I swallow back the panic at that thought, just like I’ve pushed away the pain in my back. This is what I want. It’s what I’ve worked for my entire life, and nothing, not even the enormity of it, is going to keep me from doing what I’ve set out to do.
The van pulls up to the curb at departures, and we’re led through the throngs of people toward security.
“Ladies,” Mrs. Jackson says as she hands us our boarding passes, “I will see you in a few days.” She stops, and for a moment it looks like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t. Reaching out, she shakes Janet’s hand and then gives us each a quick squeeze of the shoulders and a peck on the cheek. I’m last, and when she pulls away, Leo is releasing his mom from a hug.
Janet looks back and forth between us, her mouth pressed in a firm line, the same expression she makes whenever I cheat a little on the connection before my bars dismount.
“Just one minute, Mom,” Leo says, his eyes pleading with her. “We did what you asked, and I think we’ve earned a goodbye.”
“Audrey, we’ll be in line. Meet us there,” she says before sending Leo a significant look and walking away, Chelsea, Dani, and Emma behind her.
“So …” he says, rocking back on his heels. “This is it.”
“Yeah,” I agree. I have no idea what to say to him. He was there for me during one of the worst times in my life, and I don’t know how you thank someone for that.
“Audrey,” he says, his voice making that incredible rumbling sound it does whenever he’s actually taking something seriously, “thank you.”
“What?” I manage to choke out. “I’m the one who should be—”
“No,” he says, “I mean that I want to try and come back, after watching you these last weeks, seeing how much you want it, how hard you work. You inspire me, Audrey Lee, more than anyone I’ve ever met before.”
I still don’t know what to say, but I definitely know what I want to do. I want to push up on my toes, grab a fistful of the hoodie he’s wearing, and pull him down to me. But I can’t do that, so instead I step forward and wrap my arms around his waist in a fierce hug. For a few precious seconds, I rest my head against his chest, and then he returns the embrace, his arms squeezing gently. If I don’t pull away soon, what’s supposed to be nothing more than an extra-friendly goodbye will turn into something else entirely, so I do, loosening my grip and then stepping away.
The understanding in his eyes is clear, and I smile tightly.
“When I get home from Tokyo, we’re going to have that conversation.”
“The very serious one?”
