57.8
Right around where I was at trials.
It was good enough to get me on the team last time, but now? Who knows.
I fall into one of the chairs and cringe at the jolt the abrupt contact sends through my back.
Careful, Audrey.
“Hey,” I call to the USOF trainer, “can I get some ice?”
“You okay?” Dani asks, sitting down beside me. She has some time to kill. She’ll be up last in this rotation.
“Yep,” I say, not really able to manage any more than that.
Dani reaches out and holds my hand as the trainer arrives to help me wrap the ice around my torso, and I’m back on the dock this morning, holding her hand while she talks about Gibby and what he did to her, what he put her through. There’s no reason to push it aside now.
Chelsea does a nice routine and scores a 13.9, putting her at a 54.4, nearly four total points below me. I inhale and exhale deeply as she sits on my other side, helping me hold the ice pack in place while the trainer runs for a wrap. I’m sitting between these girls, them sheltering me the way Chelsea and I did for Dani, and the whirring in my mind finally slows.
It feels like I’m missing something, like my mind is trying to weave the threads of something together, but I can’t focus on it. Not when everything I’ve worked for my entire life is on the line. Right now, I have to worry about this. Whatever else is happening in the world, it can wait a few minutes.
Jaime goes up and scores a 14.1, putting her at a 57.1 total. Not even close to my score. I’m going to finish fourth. I start doing math in my head because it doesn’t matter if I finish fourth if my bars and beam scores combine with the others to bring in the best overall team score.
“You’re going to explode,” Chelsea says as Dani leaves us to start warming up. “I can, like, see actual steam coming out of your ears. Stop doing math and watch.”
I take her advice. She’s an Olympic champion, after all. She knows best. Sierra takes the floor, and for a minute and a half we’re transported back to the Wild West. Her landings are a little rough, and her smile seems pasted on, the connecting fiber between the routine and the music off. She let the pressure get to her.
What a shame … really. Okay, not really.
We’re all going through the same thing, and if she can’t handle the pressure here and now, she won’t be able to handle it in Tokyo. The judges are scratching away at their papers, taking deductions, and when Sierra’s finished, her score posts exactly even with mine.
My mind goes as numb as my back with the monstrosity of an ice pack attached to it. Emma and Dani perform, and my eyes watch, but I don’t actually see either routine. I’m vaguely aware that they both outscore me, and when I look up at the final scores, I still really don’t know what any of it means.
1.Daniela Olivero
58.5
1.Emma Sadowsky
