“I think that’s wise,” Mrs. Jackson says. “We don’t want any appearance of impropriety or favoritism. We can’t afford even the slightest hint of a scandal aftereverything.”
Janet picks it up from there. “I want to impress upon you the importance of staying away from each other while you’re training in my gym.”
“I understand.”
“I’m not sure that you do,” Mrs. Jackson cuts in. “We are running short of time, and quite honestly, we’re out of options, Audrey. While none of that is your fault, Coach Dorsey-Adams must be seen by the entire world as an impartial judge of your abilities. So, that being said, if you don’t stay away from Leo while you’re here, I’m afraid the consequences could be extreme.”
“Extreme?” I repeat.
“Should complaints arise about bias and the like,” Mrs. Jackson says, “we may have little choice in how we deal with them.”
“You’d kick me off?” I ask, looking back and forth between them. “For liking a boy?”
“It’s not quite that simple. This team is already fractured, and I’m concerned that any additional discord could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. So if any athlete is found to be contributing to a negative environment, they will be removed from the team posthaste. Your teammates, particularly those who have already expressed discontent at our current circumstances, have been warned of these consequences as well.”
She means Sierra and her piss-poor attitude. Well, that’s something at least.
“If it makes you feel any better, understand that you’re not the only one making a sacrifice here. Ms. Olivero’s coach has agreed to stay away from this process. She didn’t have anything to do with the activities leading up to Dani’s suspension, but she’s choosing to help us avoid even the perception of a conflict of interest or partiality.”
Well, that sucks. I mean, it’s actually fair that we all get to train with the same coach now, but Dani’s coach stepping aside so no one can say she got an unfair advantage? That’s intense and way more of a sacrifice than just staying away from a guy I like until after the Olympics.
“Audrey,” Janet says. “I’ve already discussed this with Leo, but I want to make sure you understand. No private conversations, no sneaking off to the gym after hours, nothing”—she hesitates— “nothing physical.”
“I understand,” I say quickly, needing this conversation to be over right now. “Can I go?”
They nod, and I book it up the stairs.
“Hey,” Emma says when I slip through the door. “Please tell me you and Leo hooked up, because it would be great if something good came of today’s bullshit.”
“Nothing happened,” I say dully, hoping she doesn’t push. I’m not in the mood to rehash every embarrassing detail of what just went down.
“Wow, way to take advantage of the alone time, Rey.”
I ignore her sarcasm and start to gather my shower kit. All I want right now is to stand under a long, hot stream of water until the whole day is washed away.
“Sierra went off after you left,” she says, carrying on the conversation without me. “She thinks Dani faked her second drug test and should still be suspended.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, dropping my stuff onto my bed. “The USOF retested Dani. How does she think Dani fudged those results?”
“I don’t know, but, like, it’s not impossible. There are drugs that won’t show up after a certain amount of time.”
“Please.” My simmering annoyance from everything that went down earlier rekindles. “Sierra is totally deluded. She just wants her spot on the team back, and I get that, but she basically attacked Dani when she got here. That’s insane.”
“That was a bit much,” Emma concedes, sitting on the edge of her bed, “but I don’t think she’s totally off base about that whole situation.”
I blink at her in disbelief. “You don’t believe Dani?” I snap.What the hell? Does she think the FBI arrests people for fun?
“That’s not what I said.”
“You haven’t saidanything,” I shoot back, “but that’s what you always do, isn’t it? Just sit there and pretend like there’s nothing you can do about the shitstorm around you, right? Dani gets suspended? No big deal; bring in the alternate! Gibby’s arrested for sexual assault? It’s fine, just gotta focus up! Pauline betrays us? Whatever, we’ll get a new coach. Sierra spews lies and conspiracy theories about Dani and me, your best friend, over lunch and you’re like, maybe she has a point? Do you give a shit about anything?”
Emma’s blue eyes flash at me. “What was I supposed to say?Sierra, don’t be mean to Audrey? That’s pretty awkward, and as for the other stuff, Dani hasn’t even told us her side of the story, so how the hell am I supposed to defend her? Maybe she and Gibbywerehooking up. Maybe it wasn’t that big a deal for her.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Well, according to you, I don’t care one way or the other,” she says, shaking her head so hard her red hair starts to fall free from its bun.
And suddenly it feels like a chasm has opened up, splitting the room right down the middle—me on one side, Emma on the other.
