I stop in my tracks and blink at him, but he’s already turned back to the grill. “Can someone call Jaime and Sierra?” he asks over his shoulder. “These things are perfect.”
For a moment we all hesitate.
Sierra hasn’t exactly been a joy to be around, and Jaime tends to mirror her moods.
“I’ll get them,” Emma says finally. Dani and Chelsea are sitting at the opposite end of the table, whispering to each other, and that leaves me and Leo and this suddenly awkward tension that’s making my skin itch.
The urge to fill the silence wars with a sudden desire to flee. Literally. I want to sprint away, maybe get rid of some of this excess energy and block out this weird vibe I’m getting off of the first guy I’ve ever let myself really like.
He finally turns from the steaks that he’s been carefully transferring over to a serving dish, and his eyes flicker behind me, back to the house. “Listen, Audrey—”
“It’s fine,” I cut him off and turn away. His words and tone are clear enough, and I don’t need to be let down easy.
Emma returns with Sierra and Jaime, saving me from whatever he was going to say next. They all grab seats, and I snag one next to Emma, and Leo slides in beside me. That entire side of my body comes alive as he settles just inches from me, but I try to ignore it as the tension in the room expands way beyond us, radiating through everyone at the table. The brief respite we got from it at training has somehow made it exponentially worse now that we’re all sitting around a table together.
Sierra’s stony silence is almost as obnoxious as her ravings from yesterday. Jaime won’t engage at all because when Sierra’s not talking, she has no one to echo. Chelsea and Dani are still whispering together at the other end of the table, but not loud enough for anyone to join in, and Leo, Emma, and I are caught in the middle, none of us with anything to say.
“Who wants peppers and onions for their steak?” Janet says, stepping through the sliding doors. I didn’t even realize she was in the house. She breaks through the awkwardness, but only slightly.
“I’ll have some,” Leo says, holding his plate up for his mother.
“Thanks, me too,” I say, and she scoops them onto my plate. Everyone politely accepts some from her, but there’s still no conversation beyond the quiet murmurs from Chelsea and Dani.
Janet seats herself beside her son and looks around the table. “You all know you’re allowed to talk during meals, right? The NGC didn’t ban conversation at that training center, did they?”
“No,” Chelsea says. “I … uh … I think there’s … we’re all still a little …” She trails off, gesturing around us.
“Don’t worry. Plenty of time to get comfortable in the next few weeks. I know this isn’t what you expected, and some of you didn’t expect to be here at all, but I promise we’ll get everything figured out before the Games.”
The table falls into silence.
Janet tries again. “I’m looking forward to seeing your floor routines tomorrow, ladies. Audrey, what’s the inspiration behind yours? Leo has been talking about it nonstop since we got back from trials.”
The entire table is silent, not even the click of forks and knives filling up the quiet of the moment as everyone looks at me and then Leo and then back to me.
“Careful, Leo,” Sierra snarks under her breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear, “next thing you know she might accuse you of rape and we’ll all be back to square one.”
Nearly everyone at the table explodes in protest, except me and Dani. I’m too in shock to say anything, and she just stares in silence before standing, her face ashen but her mouth firm. Then she walks away, through the sliding doors and back into the house.
Chelsea stops midshriek in Sierra’s direction and follows her, catching up as they make it to the stairs.
That’s good, because I’ve had it. My whole body is almost vibrating from how much I want to punch Sierra in the throat. I need to be away from the ridiculousness of this whole situation.
“Audrey,” Emma calls softly when I slip out from between her and Leo, but I ignore her, walking and then jogging and then sprinting across the patio, through the living room, and out the front door into the Coronado night.
chapter ten
The gym door is unlocked.
Whoops.
Emma and I were probably supposed to lock it when we left. I flick the lights on, and with a rattle and hiss, the fluorescent bulbs come to life. The clear, salty air in my lungs from outside gives way to the familiar, comforting scent of chalk dust, mat cleaner, and sweat.
Janet told us not to train any more today, but Janet doesn’t have to compete in Tokyo in three weeks. And Janet doesn’t have a back held together with cortisone and a prayer, so Janet will have to get over it.
I lift my arms, swinging them around, trying to get warm. My back feels almost absurdly good as I stretch out, but it’s a false positive. If I felt like this without the cortisone, life would be sweet.
I’d go to the Olympics and then maybe to college, where the routines wouldn’t have nearly the same kind of physical impact on my body. I’d get four years to compete with a team, win national championships, go to parties, get a degree, and keep doing what I love. Instead, there’s a countdown clock, not only on my Olympic dreams, but on gymnastics, the thing I love the most in this world. As soon as these last moments tick away, that’s it, it’s over—Olympic gold medal or not. And right now, it feels more and more like not.
