“Yeah, I think so,” says Raven.
“You think the killings are related?” Dorian asks.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” says Raven.
Professor White always seemed suspicious of them, told me to stay away. Maybe it was for a good reason. But then I remember seeing Aspen that day at Arches.
“Aspen is a member,” I say. “He has connections to all of the victims. I saw him lurking at Arches after it fell, like maybe he was looking for an entrance to the tunnels. He has access to restricted grimoires. Do you know for sure where he was last night? And the night Pippa died?”
Raven goes still, staring at me. She’s rendered speechless.
“You think Aspen is involved?” Dorian asks me.
“Maybe he knows more than he’s letting on.”
“But what would Aspen want with the malum? Why use it to kill kids from St. Adolphus Hall?”
I fall silent. I don’t know. I start crosshatching on a napkin in front of me, dragging my fingernail into the paper in neat, even lines. My back aches, and I try to hide the discomfort by shifting slightly in my seat. Dorian notices, though.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“When the monster attacked me…it felt like it wasn’t just cutting me open, but that it was taking something from me.”
Both Dorian and Raven gape at me. “What do you mean,taking?” Raven asks.
“I don’t know.” I wince at the memory of the claws still fresh in my back. “I’m just telling you what I felt. Like it was feeding on me somehow. Not on my blood but…something deeper.”
“Adelina said the malum needed to feed, that it required magic to live,” says Dorian. “Do you think that’s what it was doing to you, feeding on your magic?”
I shrug. “I don’t know…maybe?”
“But you’re fine? It wasn’t able to finish—right?” Dorian asks.
“I think I’m okay. We stopped it, but this isn’t over. It’s still killing people, maybe taking their magic or something, getting stronger every time.”
Dorian takes a deep breath. “What is it we’re dealing with? Chaos incarnate? How do we even stop it?”
It’s a rhetorical question. None of us know. And without access to Sibylline, we might never know. His words hang in the air between us. The gentle clatter and bustle of the cafe echoes around us. My tea sits long forgotten in front of me.
The gloom outside matches the aura over our heads.
“It knows our faces. Maybe it’ll try to come after us again,” says Raven. “If it needs magic, we’re the obvious targets. We have power.”
Dorian folds his hands over his mouth, his gaze distant. I can tell he’s thinking a million things at once.
A small part of me, the part that hurts, wonders aloud. “Maybe we really should let Sibylline take care of things. They specialize in magic. They’re the ones who have been studying the craft for centuries. They can handle the malum.”
Admitting it hurts. But I miss home, I miss my mom, I miss my old bed and my old room. I miss the way things used to be. I miss when we were the Oneiric Society and things weren’t so fucking complicated between us.
Once I’m on a roll, I don’t stop. “I never wanted to be caught up in grand conspiracies or…goddamn shadow monsters!” I bury my face in my hands, mumbling, “Shit. The last moment I felt any kind of real joy, like everything was going to be all right, was when I kissed Dorian. And then everything got worse. So much worse.”
When I lift my head from my hands, Dorian looks stunned. I almost don’t know why, but then I realize what I said.
“You…you kissed Dorian?” Raven asks me, as if she’s unsure she heard correctly. “When?”
My cheeks get hot. “At the St. Ad’s Halloween party.”
“Is this true?” she asks Dorian, shocked.
