Dorian sighs, and his breath curls against my cheek. He’s taller than me, but only by a little. We stand, touching just slightly, our bodies meeting, coming together, then parting awkwardly. In the narrow space it’s impossible for us not to touch.
I wonder, is this the closest he and I have ever been?
“Comfortable?” he jokes, his whisper drawing my gaze up to his eyes. They’re green flecked with gold, and it’s dizzying to see them up close.
I shrug. “As comfortable as one can be hiding behind a fireplace in a secret room full of magical books.”
The corners of his mouth curl into a smile. “Maybe we can make that making-out lie true.”
He’s joking. Right? Dorian’s straight. He’s in love with Raven. He’d never think of me like that…would he? Even he must realize what he said, because his smile falls and his eyes drop to my lips, and he looks away.
We fall into awkward silence, watching Warden Stone’s shadow moving slowly around the room. It’s like he’s looking for something and can’t find it. He looks angrier with each passing minute. My hands are bunched up against Dorian’s sweatshirt, and I can feel his heart beating beneath the fabric. I try to move my hands away, but I can’t. We’re too cramped. Dorian senses me trying to shift, and he lifts his arm above my head, bracing himself against the wall to give me space. We twist and turn; I’m amazed Warden Stone doesn’t see us. I tuck my arms to my sides, breaking a brief, accidental embrace.
The urge to touch him is overwhelming, but I don’t because of how he feels about Raven. Every time he catches her eye, he looks like a lost puppy. When she’s around, his aura goes pink and orange, like the most brilliant sunset.
I get it, Raven is beautiful. They would make a great couple. Idon’t blame Dorian in the slightest. And I can’t bring myself to tell him how I feel. I don’t want to lose either of them because of something I said. I don’t want to break up our trio.
By now, Warden Stone has moved far enough away, I know he can’t hear us. I have to change the subject, or I might say something foolish, like tell Dorian how nice this moment is. “What you did back there, though, seeing the past by touching the wall, it’s amazing.”
“Is it?”
“Always has been,” I say, feeling dizzy on my feet.
I breathe in his cologne. It’s subtle, and it mixes with the scent of his body, his soap and a dash of perspiration. It fills my nose, making me feel as if I’ve pressed my face directly into the nape of his neck. They say that scent is tied closely to memory, that the aroma of one thing can trigger a hundred recollections, so I drink in that scent, hoping to recall this moment.
“You know, I’ve always wondered about your power,” I say. “You’ve never told me what happens when you touch a person.”
Dorian takes a deep breath, half his face lost in shadow. He hesitates, somehow nervous. “I’ve only touched someone once since my powers manifested. It was an accident.”
“You never told me about that.”
“That’s because it…” He winces, and I stare at him, wondering what ails him. We’ve always been friends, but there are some things he likes to keep to himself.
This is one of them.
We’re alike, I suppose, in that regard, keeping secrets.
But maybe because it’s me asking the question, or maybe because he’s feeling brave, he says, “During summer break, right before sixth grade, I was on the subway, and this old man…He collapsed, right in front of me. No one else did anything. And Ididn’t think about it, I just reached out, tried to shake him awake, and when my hand touched his…”
Dorian shudders. “My heart stopped when I touched him. Actually stopped. He was going into cardiac arrest, and so was I. It hurt so much.” His lips twitch, tears forming in his eyes. “It’s hard to explain, but I think maybe I died. For a second. With him. I somehow absorbed what was happening to him.”
“Oh, shit,” I whisper. “What happened next?”
Dorian shrugs. “He woke up, and the paramedics took him away, but…I can’t be certain, but I think he lived. I don’t know, but I might have saved him. When they lifted him to his feet, he was talking, and his face was no longer gray.” He looks haunted, his gaze distant. “It’s one of the reasons why I wanted to come to Sibylline. If there’s anyone out there who can help me, this is the place—right?”
I nod slightly.
Dorian focuses his gaze on me, those green eyes of his dancing as he does. All I can think about is him, wanting to touch him, to feel him.
“Do you want to try again?” I ask.
Dorian stiffens, shoulders raised, and his Adam’s apple drops when he swallows. It’s almost like I can see him building a wall around himself.
“As friends,” I quickly add.
“You want me to try to use my power on you?”
“Why not? I’m not going into cardiac arrest, not yet.”
