18Niyi
“WHO’S MOYO’S NEXT DATE?”
Vee’s words ring in my head as I work at Aaron’s studio. The spin of the wheel and soft clay in my hands aren’t enough to reduce my Moyo-related anxiety. This anxiety has been vicious—practically taking on a life of its own because I know I’ll need to choose Moyo’s next match from one of the viable candidates, but I don’t want to.
After our coffee shop meeting, I changed some of her answers and rewrote some lines of code, which reduced her dating pool, and most of the people changed. All except one—Maxwell, the guy from theCupid’s Bowmixer. Maybe he was right to approach her that night. Perhaps it was destined by the stars, and I need to put myself out of my misery and be the cupid that ordains their love. But I’m stubborn and, evidently, selfish.
Luckily, I still have some time before I have to lock things in because Moyo hasn’t gotten back to me with the questionnaire. Or initiated any contact since our last meeting almost a week ago. Not that I expected her to, but a foolish part of me thought I’d hear from her.
“’Bout to set up for the class,” Aaron says. “Wanna stay?”
I slowly lift the bowl I’ve been crafting for a few weeks and put it away. I used to attend Aaron’s 10 a.m. class till I got to know him and we becamefriends. Now I join him in the early mornings for some silent work time—and whenever I need a break and he’s available, really. A welcome departure from my talkativeCupid’s Bowreality.
“Thanks,” I say, joining him by the sink to get the clay off my fingers.
“You don’t have to thank me every time,” he scoffs, and I smile. Not because of his words, but because they remind me of what I say to Moyo. I try to push the smile away, but her megawatt personality fills my mind and, like my growing attraction to her, I’m unable to stop.
“Who got you smiling like that?” Aaron asks.
“Oh, nobody. Just work.”
“I like my job”—he looks at the quaint studio—“but it’s never made methathappy. So, who’s the lucky person?”
I wipe my hands with a towel. “It’s one of my clients. She’s making great progress, and I’m sure we’ll find her soulmate soon. She’s one of the girls from the party.”
“The one you danced with?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve fallen for her, huh?” Aaron chuckles.
“I-I-I…” I stutter, trying to find the words to deny it, but it’s impossible. I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen, but I can feel my heart beginning its descent. The lie is in my mind, but my lips want no part of it.
Instead, I tell another truth. “It doesn’t matter if I have. She wants true love, and I can’t give her that.”
Aaron’s smile fades, and the older man examines me. “Why? You just want sex?”
“Fuck, no.” It’s more than that.
“You don’t love her?”
Love. A basic four-letter word and the bane of my existence. How am I supposed to know what love is if I’ve never experienced it? My only example of a Saturn experiencing love is my father, and see how that turned out? Mom was withering away and Dad never noticed till the inevitable happened. I know I care for Moyo, but love? I’m unsure.
“But you like her?” Aaron asks.
“Very much.”
“So, what’s holding you back? The job? You can quit a job if you really want to. Shit, I never told you, but I ended up here ’cause I quit my lackluster banking job and drained most of my savings to fund my cross country move for a woman I no longer speak to.” Aaron laughs, and I expect to hear underlying pain, but there isn’t any.
“And you don’t regret it?”
“Listen, there’s only a few things worth living for, and love is one of them. I had seven glorious years with her before I messed up.” Aaron winces. “What I’m tryna say is, if you care about her, don’t set her up with another guy and then be sad wondering what might’ve been.”
“But the job is family. I can’t quit family.”
“I’m not saying you should, but there’s always that option.” Aaron shrugs. “I got a job for you, if you’re down.”
“Serious?”
