The question gives me pause. The simple answer is no. Why would it be a problem? It’s the quintessential romantic thing.
“I’m just not used to it.”
“Previous partners haven’t done that?”
Considering my only recent partner has been Cole, it doesn’t take me long to think. “No. Wasn’t a thing.”
“And you were okay with that?”
My brows scrunch. “I never thought about it. I’m used to being the helper, so it wasn’t amiss that I was playing that role in my relationship.”
“So…what do you want in a partner now? More of the same?”
“I…I still need to think. All I know is I don’t want anyone like my previous matches.”
“That’s a good place to start. Tell me what you didn’t like about them?”
I launch into the story of the date with Julian, which I’ve dubbedThe Trainwreck.
When I’m done, my irritation is once again palpable, a marked difference between the calm I’ve experienced over the past hour and a half with Niyi.
“I’m so sorry,” Niyi apologizes.
“Thanks, but it’s not really your fault. You just work there,” I say, and he looks even more apologetic. I sometimes feel responsible for messes at the hospital, but I know better than to blame an employee. “In fact, I was wondering how such a grade-A loser got intoCupid’s Bow. I was on the waitlist for months.”
Niyi chuckles slightly. “That’s a great question that, unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to. But it leads me to wonder…whyCupid’s Bowfor you?”
I swallow. “Well, I knew I wanted to date again, and I did some research and your app was the best one. Great reviews, great numbers. All foolproof stats.”
“The app might have glowing reviews, but remember, dating is still all about people. And people can be different in person, regardless of their compatibility on paper,” Niyi says.
“I wanted to give myself the best chance, and it worked for a while.”
“Did it though?” he challenges me. “You mentioned being the constant helper. Doesn’t sound like fair emotional labor to me.”
He’s right.
With Cole, I was basically on autopilot. Dating because I wanted to be in a relationship, and not because I cared about my partner. I remember all our arguments. The common string was me wanting him to do more, plan more,bemore, and sometimes he would. Only for the cycle to repeat itself. But despite my discomfort, Cole was there, and that was somehow enough.
“So, again I ask, whyCupid’s Bow? Why did you come back?” Niyi asks in rapid succession.
This makes me snicker. “Believe it or not, it was my dad. He convinced me that it wasn’t too late for me to find someone.”
“Wise man. I’m taking it you’re close?”
“Extremely.” I beam. Some people find it weird, but my dad and I are genuine friends. “What about you and your parents?” I ask.
“Mom passed a while back—”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, but it is what it is. And my dad and I don’t get along.”
I think about my relationship with my mom. It’s not bad, but once I became a teen, I gravitated towards my easygoing, personable dad, and moved farther away from my stricter mom.
“Was it always like that?” I ask cautiously, expecting him to push back. However, under the soft moonlight, Niyi’s shoulders relax and his voice becomes quiet.
He takes a deep breath. “Not always. We were close when I was younger. I wanted to be just like my dad. But after my mom died, things changed. He got colder, his expectations became more stringent, and I became my own person, much to his dismay.”
