THE GROUP CALL COMES THROUGH, DESPITE MY PHONE BEINGon “do not disturb.” The girls and my parents are the only ones who can reach me when I’ve cut myself off from the world.
I apply clear gloss to my outlined lips and take a moment to marvel at the difference a coat of gloss makes before accepting the call. Sewa and Anjie’s shouts, hollers, and squeals compete with Boistory’s “Ore,” forcing me to turn down the music to hear them better.
“Wow! Maybeweshould go out tonight,” Anjie says, “’cause the way you’re looking, I’m sorry, I don’t think whoever you’ve done all this for deserves it.”
“Unless it’s thatCupid’s Bowsales rep guy you were gushing about. Him, I’ll consider,” Sewa says, her face out of frame so I can only see her green bonnet.
I give them a deadpan stare at the mention of Niyi. I can’t entertain the thought. Do I find him attractive? Yes. But he doesn’t fit into my newCupid’s Bow-specific plan. I’ll be dating but only using matches from the app. They’ve figured out the formula, and the couples from the mixer prove that it works. Niyi—despite being one of the most stunning men I’ve ever seen—isn’t aCupid’s Bowmatch. Our astrology is untested. I’m not taking that risk.
“So, what’s the new plan?” Anjie reads my mind. “Don’t look at me like that. I know your face when you have something on your mind. Share with the class.”
“And what if I said there was no plan this time?”
“I’d call you a liar, but I don’t like doing that,” Sewa says, bringing her face into view. She’s in bed, smiling, but the dark circles under her eyes are more prominent. Whenever we ask, she says that grad school is difficult and a PhD is more tiring than it looks. I believe her. Some of my med school peers were MD/PhD candidates, and most of the time, they walked through life like zombies. I don’t want to see Sewa go through zombification.
“Share the plan,” Anjie coos.
I sigh. “Okay, thereisa plan,” I begin. Because would I be myself without one? No. “I’ll useCupid’s Bowand their coaching service exclusively. No dating anyone aside from the people matched by the app.”
They’re both quiet for a little too long.
“Well?” I prompt.
“It’s…” Sewa begins.
“A little…” Anjie says.
“Limiting,” Sewa concludes.
“I was literally going to say the same thing!” Anjie and Sewa try to high-five through the phone. These two are ridiculous.
I had a feeling they’d say this, and I don’t blame them because they don’t get it. They weren’t at the mixer. They didn’t feel the outpouring of authentic love from that couple on stage like a gush of water bursting through a dam.
“I’m going to trust the process. The couples I saw at the mixer were just too…” I groan, unable to describe the affection that flowed through the hall. “I’m trusting the process that gave those people their ‘happily ever afters,’ okay?”
“Okay,” they chorus.
Cross-examination concluded, Sewa opens her big mouth. “Plus, you get to work with that Niyi.”
I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. How many times am I going to explain this? After telling them about our initial meeting, our interaction at the mixer, and my pre-dates meeting, they think there’s something there. Yes, he’s attractive. But our interactions have consisted of mild irritation and bickering. I won’t pretend the arguing isn’t riveting, but it’s ultimately not what I’m used to romantically.
“One, he’s brash and he talks back a little too much. Two—”
“But you like it when we argue?” Sewa interjects.
“You guys are my friends. A man is meant to sit pretty, listen, and buy me things.”
“Well, you’re not wrong,” Anjie says, and that causes us to laugh.
“And two, he’s not part of the plan.Cupid’s Bowvetted men for me already. Plus, he’s going to be my coach. He literally cannot fit into the criteria,” I say, hoping they understand and that this will be the last time I have to detail why I’m not interested in him that way.
“But he spoke French,” Sewa says.
“And will you sell your soul for a baguette?” I ask with a poker face.
Anjie bursts out laughing, and then Sewa and I join in, cackling at varying decibels.
The conversation moves out of Niyi-territory for the rest of our time on the phone. I’m about to order my ride when Sewa says, “You sure you’re ready to go on a date?” Her beautiful round eyes soften in a blend of concern and love.
