Ciara looks at me, defeated. This family has made themselves a part of the town, I can’t do anything about that. They have made themselves a part of my life. And I can’t do anything about that, either.
I suppose I could ignore them. Smile politely at the market and shake their hands in Mass, and nothing more. But then it hits me. What about Peggy?
‘I’m mad for the little girl, Ciara. I’d be devastated if I couldn’t look after her anymore.’
I don’t want to say too much more about it. It’s embarrassing to be so desperate for a child that I latch onto the first neglected girl that comes my way. But something about her feels like fate. She needs parenting, and I want to be a parent. Ciara saves me any pity.
‘I would imagine the siblings are a package deal.’
She says, pouring out the coffee, handing me a cup.
‘Did you ever think that she might like you? Maybe she’s attracted to you, like.’
I scald my tongue on the coffee.
‘Ciara!’
She laughs like she isn’t saying something outrageous.
‘But sure maybe she does! You’d hear of things like that happening.’
It’s fine for her, she is only watching this from the sidelines. I’m the one right in the middle of it.
‘Not in Ballycrea, you don’t.’
But already it’s turning in my mind, and I wonder if there might be weight to what she’s saying.
‘Attraction is perfectly natural, Betty. You wouldn’t see an animal repressing its urges the way that we do. Besides, it’s everything else about Anna that’s unnatural.’
‘That’s right.’
I don’t know what else to say to her. Maybe she’s right. But I have enough to be considering without considering all that. Just as I want to ask her what she made of the band last night, Ciara’s eyes widen. She is fixed on the door.
Red headscarf. Yellow eyes scanning the room. Here is Anna.
Anna
AMN’T I THE LUCKY GIRL,to come into Doyle’s and see both Jack and Betty? Two bright life rings, right here. Today is the meeting of Betty’s book club. She told me that I could come along if I had any interest. Though that was ages ago, I hope that she hasn’t forgotten. So far, it’s only herself and Ciara Moore. I wave to them, and they look at me like they don’t know me. Like they aren’t expecting me, and I have ruptured their nice time. Hesitating, embarrassed, I wonder if I should sit with them at all. But then Betty smiles and Ciara waves at me. Okay, time to be brave.
‘Ladies, hello.’
I sit next to Betty; Ciara has to move to make room for me. That woman, always getting in the way. I’d have her skin for a drum.
Their conversation seems to have been suddenly derailed. Maybe they are just a little worse for wear after last night. No bother, I’ll get them warmed up. We will talk like we always talk. About the lads and our mornings, little pieces of news from the town and frocks we saw at the dance. Of course, if Ciara Moore wasn’t here, this would be altogether better. But here she is. We have to make the best of her.
‘So what’s the book this month?’
They look at me like I’m speaking another language. Like they don’t realise that’s why we are all here. Ciara is the one to remember andtakesJane Eyreout of her bag.
‘Jesus, I nearly had the book club forgotten about!’
She laughs, and Betty puts a hand to her forehead, as though suddenly realising that is why I am here. I try not to let this embarrass me.
‘Have you read it?’
Betty asks, and I smile and nod, when actually, I’ve never heard of this Jane character. She takes her own book out of her handbag. Ciara’s copy wears a greyed plastic jacket, borrowed from the library. Betty’s is brand new. Now and again, I glance over at Jack. My safety net for when I fear I cannot keep up with these women. But this is a good time. This is a wonderful, quiet way to live. When things are good, they are amazing. Was that you I saw, just now, from the corner of my eye? No, it can’t have been. Just somebody blonde out the window, maybe a sack of flour over somebody’s shoulder. Jack drops a box of matches onto the table.
‘You’d never light a few candles, would you?’
