I take her arm as the ‘Siege of Carrick’ begins. It all sounds good by the jazz band. Better than I thought. It’s all going better than I thought. The sweat of Anna’s palms warms my hands. We begin, and the blur of the locals wipes past me. Ah yes, I am alive. And how good it is. Anna laughs. The music picks up. I haven’t heard this song since I was a boy. Suddenly I remember the feeling of freedom. Suddenly it is summer. You are back for a minute, and I feel fine.
Anna
JACK SPINS ME AROUND ANDaround. So fast that I feel the soul will be pulled up out of me. A woman passes before me. Behind me. Before me. Behind me. Betty, Lillian, Betty, Lillian. Beautiful, shocking, these terrifying shapes. Blonde to black to blonde. Beauty to beauty to beauty. Passing and spinning away from me so fast that I don’t have the time to think of how alarmingly lovely and present they are. I can manage them both for right now. I am a perfect evening sky, balancing both the sun and the moon. I can manage.
Just as I am settling in, the strong arms of Ger Doyle pull me off Jack and spin me away.
‘You’re some dancer, Anna!’
He calls over the music, smiling a huge smile. Tobacco stains on his big teeth. What a nice man.
Jack takes women in and out of his arms. So does Tom. And for the length of this song, I move without thinking, fitting seamlessly in with everybody and everything. Let’s all keep moving this quickly, and maybe everything will stay fine. I like set dances. I feel they are one of the few times when I can be sure of myself and what we are all doing. I am taken into the arms of Michael Fitzpatrick.
Before me, behind me, she comes back again, and I feel as high up as the music.
Tom
YES, TONIGHT IS SOME NIGHT.
It’s a long time since I had a night like this. With plans and friends. With loud music and money in my pocket. I catch Anna in the dance, and she is laughing. It’s so long since I heard her really laughing. How nice it is, to spin around in circles with my sister. To hear Jack laughing behind me, too. It’s so rare that we are all happy at the same time. But look at us now, part of a big dance. Touching everyone, known by everyone. Isn’t it enlivening just to be touching somebody?
Dr Desmond passes me by. He smiles and waves as though we are friends. As though we know each other well. And although I’m still half afraid of him, I smile and nod right back at him. As though he was any old eejit.
I see Teresa Doyle catching Jack’s arm, and as the music slows, he brings her in closer for a dance. Her dark blue frock and his dark blue trousers. That girl, with her big doe eyes for him. Always with a cigarette in her mouth or a bag of sweets in her hand. Like a child with a dummy. If she wasn’t so pretty, Jack wouldn’t bother with her, because there’s nothing to her besides that. For once I am not jealous of him.
Jack
EVERYTHING THAT WAS MOVING QUICKand unsteady has stilled with Teresa finding me. The curve of her back beneath my hand, her palm against mine. Something I anticipated, and yet somehow did not see coming. And now that we are dancing together, I am not taken over with guilt. Rather, for the first time in a long time, I feel like myself. Dancing with pretty girls was what I once lived for. I am coming back to Jack O’Leary again.
For a little while, I let Teresa lead. Things seem to be happening here that are beyond my control, and so, for now, I let them happen. I let myself melt while this beautiful girl, who is so mad about me, dances me around the room. And I am happy. Limp-bodied, lightheaded, and feeling love from this new friend of mine. She has fallen for me at my worst. Just imagine how happy I would make her if I could get back to my best.
I think I could probably sway with her like this all night. But in the corner of the room, I see Bill Nevan talking in her father’s ear. And when our third song ends, Ger makes his way to us. She sighs, and a weight lands on my back. Her father, slapping me up straight. His booming voice and straining shirt buttons.
‘Well, Mr O’Leary. You’re after a bit of bar work, I hear.’
Bill stands in the corner, watching, pleased with himself for working his supposed magic again. I wouldn’t be intimidated by Ger if I wasn’tso bewildered by his daughter.
‘’Tis your Teresa wants me working in the pub.’
I say, trying to laugh, trying to seem like an equal. My hand still holding her back. It seems inappropriate to hold on and inappropriate to let go.
‘She’s dead right. A man should work.’
I suppose he is sizing me up as a match for his daughter. This was always a risk.
‘I’ll start you on the days and we’ll see how you get on. Come down at twelve tomorrow in a good shirt.’
He looks at Teresa, and then back at me, as though he is warning us of something. As quickly as he arrived, he is gone. She squeals, she giggles. I love these light, girlish noises. For a minute I don’t really mind what just happened, because she seems so happy.
‘Ah, Jack! This will be so much fun!’
I smile, not only to please her, but because I really can’t help it. Her happiness seems to bleed into me. It has been so nice to have a friend. Let’s chance it, so. Let’s see where it gets us. At the very least, I’ll have a wage coming in again, so I can stand on my own two feet a bit more. Okay. It might be good.
The only trouble is I’ve no nice shirt.
‘How nice is a nice shirt by your father’s standards?’
I ask, but she only laughs at me.
