‘Right so, Peggy, will you fold these sheets with me?’
Betty asks, lifting a basket of washing onto the table. The chaos of the town leaves me. The high-up, dizzy heat begins to dissolve. I would be alright if Peggy wasn’t here. This scary feeling comes over me, that I am being forgotten already. This crucial new friendship of mine doesn’t hold the weight I thought that it did. The ache of this is too familiar, our relationship being underplayed for the company of a child. For the company of Tom. I feel I am coming in last again. Like Betty will soon stop smirking and start offering obliging smiles.
Her headscarf catches my eye, thrown on the table. Cerulean blue. Thrown down like it doesn’t mean a thing. She gives Peggy a set of sheets to put in her bedroom and takes some bits down to the hot press. I hear them in the hall, Peggy asking Betty if she has ever been to Dublin Zoo, and Betty suggesting that they go together someday. Christ almighty. While they occupy each other, I am left alone in the kitchen.
Only me and the perfect afternoon light, and her headscarf. And I am taken, pulled, overwhelmed by an urge to try it on. To stuff it down my skirt. To hold on to it, and not let go.
She could come back any second and catch me out. But I feel if I don’t put this scarf on now, I’ll never be right again. So I put it on, just quickly. Why deny myself? Just for a minute. Just long enough to admire myself in the gleam of her sink. The threat of being caught is softened by the sensation of her against my cheeks. The smell of her all around me. The feeling of being enveloped by Betty Nevan. Who is surely about to catch me. Here she comes.
Snatching her scarf off my head, I feel her being ripped from me. Quickly, I put it into my handbag. Two of her black hairs, now laying on the shoulder of my dress. She notices nothing missing. She doesn’t even notice as I take her hair from my dress and plait it into my own.
Betty
‘LAST ONE!’
I say, giving two corners of a sheet to Peggy. I look back at the table once more. Did I not leave something there to tidy away? Maybe I’ve it done already.
‘Who’s your best friend in the town?’
For just a second, I think it was Peggy who asked me. It’s the sort of question I would expect from a girl her age. Not from an adult. Not from Anna.
‘I think I’m a bit long in the tooth to be having best friends.’
I try to laugh her off. Although there’s nothing wrong with asking. Maybe I’m being unfair.
‘Is it Ciara Moore?’
She persists. And I realise it isn’t the question that bothers me, it’s the insistence that I should share the details of my life with her. Anna is always prying, unabashed. I know I’m often prying myself, but I have the cop on to do it with some subtlety. There is a depth to her tone, as though she is asking something gravely important.
‘I suppose Ciara is a good friend of mine, yes.’
I feel stupid for answering. Anna nods, like I’ve given her something to consider. I turn to Peggy, only wanting to engage with her.
‘Peggy, what sheets do you prefer? I’ve to get a new set for the sparebedroom and I don’t know what to choose!’
All of this flies out of my mouth to stop Anna from saying anything else. I’m not annoyed at her, I just want a minute where she isn’t at me. Peggy brings the corners of the sheet towards me.
‘I like either of them, they’re both nice. We’ve no sheets at all at home.’
‘Peggy, stop.’
Anna cuts across her. Something about all of this is so embarrassing. All of us trying to stop each other from talking. Anna must think I’m annoyed at her. She must think I’m so rude for not indulging her questions about Ciara, and she must think that I want to use her little sister for free labour. This is the last time that I’ll ask Peggy over, it’s not right for me to be getting attached to her.
Oh, but could I stay away from the child? Why should I stay away? She is obviously starved of attention. Leave us have each other. It’s not right for Anna to be getting jealous over this. We would have had a nice time together, this evening, when she called down for Tom. But she pushed her way in. She made me feel bad, and now it’s all just strange.
‘Do you want to make a pot of tea, Anna?’
I ask her, smiling as politely as I can. Since she isn’t going to give us a hand with the sheets, she might as well do something useful. It’s funny that she is so different from Peggy and Tom. He had us roaring laughing the last night when we were watchingThe Late Late Show.Himself and Bill drinking bottles of porter, doing his Gay Byrne impression. I can’t imagine Anna having the craic like that. With the last of the sheets folded, I send Peggy outside with scraps for the cats.
‘You know what?’
Anna surprises me, breaking a silence that I didn’t realise had formed.
‘I have such a nice time with you, Betty. It makes such a differenceto spend time with a woman. I’m always trying to translate myself for Jack and Tom.’
Such a lot to break a silence with. I wonder if she was waiting for Peggy to leave to say that, if it has been building up inside her for a long time. Or if she just said it without thinking. I wonder if she realised that she had soured the tone, and if she’s trying to mend it. Whatever her intention, I believe what she says. It’s touching. I sit down and put a hand over hers.
‘Ah, Anna.’
