A single saucer sat on the floor beside the desk chair. Dear, disorganized Hugh.
A small sob spilled out, and she clapped her hand over her mouth. Had she destroyed their friendship? How she would miss his humor and cheer and compassion and brilliance.
After fifteen painful minutes, Hugh entered with a tray. He’d put on a brown wool jumper and had combed his damp hair. She’d never seen him so subdued. Depleted.
Words stuck in Aleida’s throat. Asking how he felt would be polite, but calling attention to an ailment he’d concealed seemed most impolite.
He set the tray on the cabinet and poured two cups of tea. “Would you care for a biscuit?” His voice still sounded thin but no longer crackled.
“No, thank you.”
Hugh handed her a cup, poured a stream of milk into his own cup, and sat in his chair. He stirred, not meeting her eye. “When I told you about my sister, I wanted to tell you about my asthma. I chose not to.”
“You’re ashamed of it.” She kept her tone soft.
His face agitated, and he said nothing.
Aleida took a sip of warm comfort. “Sebastiaan was ashamed of Theo’s hand. Were your parents ashamed of your asthma?”
Hugh swung his head back and forth. “Not ashamed. Terrified, especially after losing Caroline. They coddled me, kept me inside. No exertion, no cats or dogs, no school. They let me do whatever I wanted. I became a holy terror.”
Yet he was now a vigorous and kindhearted man. “What changed?”
“George Baldwin came as my tutor when I was ten.” Hugh reached across his desk and stroked a book leaning against the back in a place of honor. “After a week enduring my nonsense, he made me readThe Secret Garden.”
Aleida swallowed a sip of tea. “I read that one summer at Tante Margriet’s. I loved it.”
“I thought it was a girls’ book, but Mr. Baldwin insisted.” Hugh pulled the book into his lap. “I quickly saw myself in Colin, the spoiled, bedridden boy. But Colin changed. He grew strong and caring. I wanted to change too. I wanted to go to school with Cecil and the other boys.”
Aleida’s chest caved in. If Sebastiaan had lived, he would have sentenced Theo to an isolated life like that.
One corner of Hugh’s mouth lifted in a slight smile. “Mr. Baldwin had to sneak me outside. We trekked through the country, and he taught me to ride and box and play cricket. He pushed me in my studies, and I worked hard. After two years, I was ready. Then Mr. Baldwin stood up to my parents and convinced them to send me away to school. He put himself out of a job for my sake, and I’ll forever be grateful.”
“He sounds like a good man.”
“The best. We still write, and we see each other on occasion.” Hugh set the book back in place. “He also taught me to hide my asthma.”
“Why?”
Hugh shoved back his chair and went to the bookshelves, keeping his back to her. “When people know, they no longer see me, only the asthma. They treat me like an invalid and set limits for me. But I know my limits. Tonight I failed, which I rarely do. If I’d left five minutes earlier, you wouldn’t have followed me and no one would have been the wiser. Now I’ll have to fabricate an excuse for my hasty departure.”
“I don’t understand.” Aleida frowned at his knit-clad back. “They’re your friends.”
“Friends, yes.” He shot a rueful smile over his shoulder. “But also competitors. If Fletcher found out, he wouldn’t allow me to report on air raids or anything requiring exertion. And Gil—fine chap though he is—would be more than happy to inform Fletcher of my weakness. That would end my career.”
Earlier in the evening, Hugh had argued fervently for the sharp-edged truth, but in his own life rounded off the edges.
“You think less of me now.” Hugh’s eye twitched. “I see it in your face.”
She traced the rim of her teacup with one finger. “I don’t think less of you for having asthma.”
“For hiding it, then.”
Round and round her finger smoothed over porcelain. It did bother her, because of how Sebastiaan hid Theo’s condition and how his shame affected Theo.
Hugh watched her, his chin high and set, but his gaze guarded and sad.
Aleida inhaled deeply. “Sebastiaan hid Theo’s condition to protect his own pride. It hurt Theo and would have kept hurting him. Theo wouldn’t have grown into a confident young man who could make his way in the world.”
