It’s not until I read it over the next day that I realize why Saylor was looking at me strangely. My essayisinteresting, but only because I was never talking about John Proctor living out a lie. I was talking about myself.
TWENTY NINE
WHITNEY AND I ARE THElast ones in the locker room after rehearsal on Tuesday. I know she’s killing time waiting for Jay to be done with basketball practice. It’s what I used to do, which is why I’m taking advantage of this rare one-on-one time I have with her.
“Whit?”
She glances at me in the mirror, carefully applying her lip stain.
I sigh. “Will things ever not be weird with us?”
She considers my words for a moment. Ever since I didn’t show up for the homecoming dance, she’s been treating me like she’s better than me. At practice, she’ll only talk to the seniors, leaving Raegan and me to break on our own. And the other day at lunch, when I said I was thinking of dying the ends of my hair purple, she sneered and said, “It’ll clash with our uniforms.”
When she wasn’t looking, Lin glanced at me and rolled her eyes.
But that’s the thing. I don’t want Whitney to be someone I roll my eyes at behind her back. She was someone I toldeverythingto, including my crush on Alex freshman year. Our one-sided friendship isn’t just frustrating, it’s infuriating.
When Whitney speaks, her voice is soft. “I don’t know.”
This is not the answer I wanted to hear, but if I’m being honest with myself, it was the one I expected.
I don’t try and hide my annoyance. “Okay, well when you do know… you know where you can find me.”
I walk out of the locker room before she can say anything else. It doesn’t feel good, but I’ve already apologized. Her insecurities are out of my hands.
I’m pushing open the double doors to the junior/senior lot when I spot someone standing by my car. My heartbeat quickens. He has a different beanie on today—this one’s dark blue—but I’d recognize him from across a football field.
“Hey,” Alex says, his smile warming me to my core. Before I can reply, he gently takes my hand and drops something inside.
I immediately open it. There are three strawberry banana Starbursts, the best kind.
The corners of my lips turn up into a smile as I start to unwrap one. “You saved them for me.”
“You sound surprised.” He smiles. “But actually, I was just about to text you. Want to stop by the restaurant for dinner?”
I nearly choke on the candy. Alex looks startled. I hold up a hand to tell him I’m fine, but I’m not sure if I am. Because I know he’s talking about Rosita’s, his parents’ restaurant. So does that mean Alex is asking me on a date? Or is this, like, a casual oh-we’re-just-getting-burritos thing?
“Sure,” I say, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice.
I used to go to Rosita’s with Alex in middle school to do homework. The last time I remember going with him was freshman year when we were working on an English essay, but something tells me that we’re not going to work on algebra.
Alex smiles at me, and a slow tingling spreads from my belly to the tips of my fingers. It’s been a week since our kiss, and I haven’t been able to forget it. I want to tell him I feel the same way, that I want our friendship to be something more, but I can’t seem to find the opening words.
“Cool.” He unlocks his truck, which is only a few spaces over from mine. “I’ll drive?”
The fluttering returns, because goingtogetheractually feels like it could be a real date.
On the way over there he fills me in on the fall play and the upcomingLittle Shop of Horrorsauditions and the finishing touches he needs to put on Audrey II. I listen, my gaze falling on his mouth every so often.
But suddenly the sun is dipping below the skyline and we’re at Rosita’s. Everything I want to say becomes stuck in the back of my throat.
When we walk inside, I spot Alex’s mom refilling drinks for a couple sitting near the window. Her face brightens when she sees me.
“¡Mijo!”She gives Alex a quick squeeze before enveloping me in a bear hug. I let myself relax, hugging her back. “¡Te ves bien!You’ve been well?”
“Yes! Thank you,” I say, smiling. It’s the less complicated answer, anyway. “It’s great to see you.”
“Vamos a comer,”Alex says, then switches back to English. “I’ll help you close later.”
