“I mean… if you wanted—you don’thaveto.” Now I’m having a hard time meeting his gaze. Jeez. What is wrong with me? I look up, take a deep breath, and find the word I was searching for. “Yes.”
“Okay then.” His smile is a promise. “I’ll be there.”
Alex drops me off at the back doors of the gym, then goes to find a parking spot. Even though it’s Friday, everyone is still here to partake in the homecoming festivities. I pass through a sea of glitter and ribbons and mums, but they don’t bother me like they did before.
My heart is racing as I maneuver my way to the locker room. I can’t erase the image of the way Alex looked at me in the shop. How he remembered the details of times we spent together.
How he rememberedme.
Nearly all my teammates are dressed in uniform by the time I enter the locker room.
Raegan’s the first one to pounce. “Where were you today?”
I pull my poms out of my dance bag. “I didn’t feel well,” I lie. “But I’m okay now.”
“Well, good.” She gives me an odd look. “What are you wearing?”
My hand flies to the top of my head. Alex’s black beanie. I forgot I still had it on.
“Nothing,” I say quickly. I don’t know why I’m lying to one of my best friends. I stuff it in my bag before peeling off my clothes and changing into my uniform.
Whitney comes up to me as we’re heading to the gym for the pep rally. I notice she isn’t wearing her mum, but seeing as we’re about to perform that obviously makes sense.
“You’re here.” She says this as if she expected me to bail on our routine. “Does my lip liner look off?”
“It’s perfect,” I say, because it is.
She still double-checks herself in her front-facing camera.
Raegan leads us into the gym, which has been decorated in a sea of red and white. Nearly everyone in the stands is wearing theirRED OUTshirts, the ones students get at the beginning of the year to wear to games to show school pride. We take the center of the floor and perform our Rihanna routine. I try to scour the crowd for Alex, but I can’t find him. My heart sinks.
We have an hour and a half to kill before the game. The Wavettes’ moms made us sandwiches and brought us bags of chips as a quick dinner, so Whitney, Raegan, and I take one corner of the room and sit down to eat. But instead of making idle conversation, Raegan begins intently reading something on her phone.
Whitney sighs. “Please don’t tell me you’re on that SAT app again.”
“No, I’m reading pregnancy tips,” Raegan says, not looking our way.
“For the last time,” Whitney says. “You. Are. Not. The. One. Having. This. Baby.”
Raegan rolls her eyes. “Iknow,okay? But my mom isn’t exactly young anymore. There can be more complications when you’re older.” She points to her phone. “Swimming! I should have thought of that. It’s good for joint pain. I need to tell her.” She starts tapping out a text on her phone.
Whitney rolls her eyes, but I understand. Raegan can’t control her mom’s pregnancy like she can control one of her Leadership Council projects, and that scares her. Plus, I know she wants to be involved in her future sister’s life as much as possible, despite the fact that she hasn’t entered this world just yet.
While Whitney yammers on about some celebrity couple, I sneak Raegan a text.
ME: your mom will be fine. don’t worry xo
I follow up with a few of the dancer and party horn emojis to get her pumped for the game, and she gives me a half smile. I know she won’t stop stressing—it’s ingrained in her nature at this point—but I want her to know she has friends who care about her. It’s the least I can do for all the supportive texts she sent me in Portland. The ones I didn’t bother replying to.
We make our way outside at six thirty. Because the homecoming court is being announced at halftime, we perform our second routine before the opening kickoff. My switch leaps aren’t the best, but for the most part we nail it.
When the game begins, I casually lean over and scour the rows of students, hoping to spot Alex.
“There,” Whitney says, nodding toward the right side of the bleachers.
I freeze. Am I that obvious?
“She’s there. By Colton?” She’s pointing at Lin, who’s flipping through a book while Colton bobs his head to the music in his headphones next to her. Breck and Jay are the only two actually watching the game.
