A voice in the back of my mind says,You’re the one not giving them a chance.
It says,You’re being too hard on him. On everyone.
Wallis paws at my bed. I let him jump up, which causes the mattress to creak and sag under his weight. I’m still convinced he’s part Shetland pony.
I don’t do my homework. Instead I walk over to my desk and unfold my twelve-steps list. My dad and I need to learn how to make a life for ourselves, and that means he can’t use them as a safety net anymore.
It’s time for us to start being our own family, just the two of us.
TWENTY TWO
AFTER LAST NIGHT, I PLANto leave for school without interacting with anyone. I’m still not in a stellar mood. It’s one thing for my dad to let the recoverees stay here, but to let them meddle in my life? That’s a boundary I’m not about to let any of them cross.
My dad is buttering a piece of toast when I walk into the kitchen. I brace myself for some type of scolding, but I’m surprised to see the softness in his expression when he meets my eyes.
“Goose, about last night.” He sets the knife down beside the plate. “I understand why you’re upset. I don’t want you to feel like anyone is trying to fill Grams’s shoes.”
The defensive side of me begins to dissolve. Could he actually understand why I’m upset about involving them in our personal life?
“But I’d still like you to apologize to Peach. It wasn’t fair to lash out like you did.”
And there it is: The proof that he doesn’t really understand. Because to him, it’s more important that I apologize whenI’mthe one whose life has been completely derailed not only by his addiction, but by inviting these people here and expecting me to act like everything is perfectly fine.
I grab an apple from the fruit bowl. “I’m going to be late.”
Then I leave. I tell myself it’s not as harsh as it feels.
My lunch period was spent listening to Raegan discuss Leadership Council plans for the homecoming dance while Whitney ran through her hair, nails, and makeup appointments with Jay, who seemed like he was only half-interested. But when Jay mentioned his “brilliant idea”—his words—of having the guys’ basketball team moon the Homecoming King and Queen during the first dance, Raegan almost snapped the pencil she was holding before going off on him. After my recent revelation, I was certain that any feelings I may still have had toward him had completely evaporated.
I’m pulling into the driveway after the homecoming parade—which was organized flawlessly, all thanks to Raegan—when I spot a black sedan I don’t recognize in front of my house. I slide the gear in Park and step out as Margaret emerges from the car.
All the blood in my body freezes.
She’s smiling happily as she walks over to me, her tall heels clacking on the pavement. When she removes her Audrey Hepburn–style sunglasses, I’m relieved to see that she doesn’t have any concern expressed across her face.
“Hello, Kira!” she says, her tone friendly. “I know this is unexpected, but I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d swing by.”
I try and keep the panic off my face as a million different thoughts churn in my brain at once. Does she suspect something? Did the neighbors report unusual behavior of us having too much company here? No, that couldn’t happen. Because even if they did, how would they know Margaret is my social worker?
“Oh, well, I guess you have good timing.” I hold up my dance bag. “I’m just getting home from practice.”
She nods, looking toward the front door. “Mind if I do a walk-through?”
This is a nightmare. I can’t outright say no, because then it’lldefinitelylook suspicious. I also have no idea who’s home right now, waiting to give away all the big secrets I’ve conveniently left out of my conversations with Margaret. Despite fighting with my dad and Peach over my grades, I wasn’t ready for this moment. I’m happy here. Ican’tbe sent off again.
I do my best to give an easygoing shrug. “Sure.”
We walk up the front porch, and my hands shake as I unlock the front door. When I start to open it, there’s a boomingwoofas Wallis comes charging toward us.
I take hold of Wallis’s collar, but don’t put too much effort into stopping him from jumping on Margaret. Maybe Wallis’s enthusiasm will make her uncomfortable, therefore getting her out of here quicker.
“Well, this is certainly a new addition.”
“Yeah, he’s our rescue.” Wallis rubs his nose over her pencil skirt, and she takes a tiny step back. “He’s good. Just extremely friendly.”
“Mmm.” Her eyes wander down the hall that leads to the living room, and I’m relieved to see that no one’s occupying it. Still, I can’t let go of the anxiety in my chest as she moves onward. If anyone is here, I hope to whatever higher power exists that they don’t choosenowto come out and say hello.
“Your father isn’t home?” Margaret says once she’s surveyed the kitchen.
