Peach excuses herself. When she returns a moment later, I notice her eyes are a little red.
I tell myself it’s better this way, but the guilt clings to me like a static garment all through dinner.
The next week at school is better, but not easier. Especially during lunch. Jay barely makes eye contact with me, yet he’s always more than happy to talk to me during history. Whitney only directs attention toward me when I ask her a question. It’s not like she’s pushing me away—it’s worse. She’s basically attempting to ignore my existence.
But with my twelve steps in the back of my mind, I’m attempting to right things with my friends. So I sit and listen as Raegan freaks out about presidential responsibilities and while Lin stresses about the decathlon team. I’ve only genuinely laughed once, and that was when Colton started throwing tater tots at Whitney to make her stop talking about a Kate Spade purse she was obsessing over. He quickly shut up when she threatened to chuck his iPhone across the cafeteria.
I tell myself that if I keep making an effort, it can only get better from here.
It’s Friday. I’m feeling pretty confident in my toffee oxfords and speckled navy top that I’ve paired with my favorite jeans. I’ve even accessorized with a pair of golden pineapple stud earrings.
Today I’m focusing on step 5—making sure Lin feels valued in our friendship—which is why I got up extra early to help her hang Earth Club posters throughout the school before first period. I find her standing on a step stool she borrowed from the theater department. She’s placing a piece of tape over the first flyer. I read it as she slaps it on the wall.
Earth Club!
Let’s do our part to help our environment
Tuesdays at 3:50
Room 208
(Free cookies during 1st meeting)
“We’re not beneath bribing people with food?” I ask.
Lin scoots the stool over several feet. “I’m not letting Principal Lawrence cancel the only club I care about.” She places another flyer on the wall. “So I’m hoping my cookies will bring the boys to the yard.” After a brief pause, she adds, “And girls.”
“I didn’t know Earth Club was so sexual.”
“Oh, shut up. Hand me another piece of tape.”
I do, then we move another few feet down the hall. “Are you coming to Raegan’s on Saturday?” I ask. It’s not unlike Lin’s parents to spring a family gathering on her at the last minute.
“Yup,” Lin replies. Today she’s wearing a knee-length flouncy skirt with a white V-neck that has a giant recycle symbol printed on the front. She pushes her frames up the bridge of her nose before saying, “I haven’t been to her house in a while.”
“You haven’t?” I assumed the three of them stayed close over the summer.
Lin shakes her head. “Raegan’s mom is pregnant—”
“WHAT?”
“I know!”
“How—?”
“Are you really asking me that?”
I shake my head, shocked. Raegan’s always been an only child, and she certainly acts like an only child. She’s always been confident in her personal achievements, but she can be a little self-centered. Like the time she made Whitney and me help her find the classiest pair of heels to wear to her cousin’s wedding when she knew we both had a major biology exam the next day. She would have outright refused if the situation were turned around, which makes it hard to picture her as a big sister.
“Sorry, I just—wow. That’s a surprise.”
“I’m pretty sure it was a surprise for them, too, but they’re embracing it,” Lin says as we round the corner at the end of the hall. “I didn’t see her for most of the summer because she was working as a counselor at Camp Bridgeport. She wanted a summer job where she could escape her mother’s hormonal episodes. Plus, Whitney was super busy with dance camp.” I hand her a piece of tape so she can secure the next flyer. “Meanwhile I signed up for an online pre-SAT class because I wasthatbored without you guys.”
I won’t lie. This makes me feel a little better.
“Hey, so,” I say as we move into a different hallway. “Have you figured out if you’re going to let Breck on the decathlon team?”
Lin lets out a deeply annoyed sigh. “It’s just—” She thinks for a moment. “I don’t understandwhy,you know? It makes no sense. And I don’t want him screwing up our chances if he’s not going to take it seriously.”
