“I’m been so prideful and stupid,” she says, tears filling her eyes. “You’ve apologized and tried not to make things weird, and I held all that against you. And now you lost someone,again,and… it makes me so sad. It’s so unfair.”
I’m shocked at her confession. “It doesn’t matter, okay? We both messed up, but we’re here now.”
She sniffs, wiping her eyes. “God, sorry. I’m blubbering all over you when you’re the one going through a hard time.” She meets my gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Not really,” I admit.
She hugs me again, this time not letting go as quickly as she did before. I let myself hug her back. I know she’s flawed—we both are—but I miss her. Even if we aren’t as close as we used to be, even if we’ve grown apart, I still want her to be my friend.
When we break away, I ask, “How’s Raegan?”
“Absolutely freaking out. She snapped at a nurse for something I didn’t understand. She must have done more research than we thought.”
“Shocking.”
“Right?” Whitney looks around. “Poor Lin. Does she evenlikecoffee?”
I laugh, knowing the answer and appreciating her giving us our time.
“I know it’s not my place to say this,” Whitney says. “But knowing you and your dad, I have to know that Nonnie had a great last few months of her life with you guys.”
I think of Nonnie laughing out in the backyard as Saylor toppled over in his headstand. How she paraded through the house in the Freddie Mercury cape. How she teased Peach’s overly polite southern mannerisms and taught my dad all the words to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” How she was never going to give up on Saylor—or me.
I have to believe she loved it here, too.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “That means a lot.”
Lin returns a moment later, and I tell them all about Nonnie. It feels good not having to pretend with them anymore. I never should have in the first place.
An hour later, Raegan bursts through the doors.
“I’m a sister!” she exclaims. “She’s so tiny. And beautiful. My mom’s okay, although this one nurse poked her three separate times before sticking an IV in. But they say she handled the pregnancy very well for her age.”
A wave of relief rolls through my chest. “That’ssogreat.”
Raegan turns to me, squeezing me tight. “Thank you for being here.”
I try and return her smile. “Can we see her?”
“Yes!” She’s swelling with pride. “She’s in the hospital nursery. Follow me.”
We follow her past the double doors and around the corner of a long hallway. Raegan stops in front of a long window where half a dozen babies are resting in beds that resemble high-tech shopping carts.
“That’s her,” Raegan says, pointing to the farthest bed on the right.
My eyes land on this tiny bean of a human, small and safe, gently wrapped in a soft white blanket. She’s beautiful, already so loved by so many in this world. In Raegan’s eyes, she’s perfect—but she’ll make mistakes. It’s impossible not to. But I can tell by the way Raegan is gazing at her, she’ll love her through anything. And maybe that’s all anyone can ask for.
FORTY ONE
EVEN THOUGH MY DAD TOLDher she didn’t have to, Aunt June flies into town the next day. She says it’s not a big deal, that she has time off to spare. I can’t say I blame her, though. My dad wasn’t exactly okay the last time he lost someone.
When I pick June up from the airport, she wraps me in a huge hug. I squeeze her tight, overcome by waves of emotion.
“Oh! I’ve missed you,” she says as we walk to my car. “I know it’s only been a few months, but you just look so grown.”
I feel a smile tug on the corners of my lips. “I sort of feel that way, too.”
She waits until we get in the car before she goes, “Your dad told me everything, about his friends staying at the house, although I wish you would have. I’m so sorry to hear about Nonnie.”
