The happiness in his tone makes me smile. “Thanks. Where is everyone? I didn’t see your car outside.”
“Saylor took them all out for milkshakes, even though I warned him Sonic gets crowded on a Friday night.”
Even though I’m officially ungrounded, I still feel awful for the things I’ve said to my dad. He’s been trying so hard, just like I’ve been trying with Alex. I now know how it feels, if only a little.
I join him on the couch. There’s an enormous bag of peppermint patties on the coffee table. I take one, fiddling with the silver wrapping until I can find the right words. “I’m sorry… for what I said that night.”
His tired eyes find mine, but they’re not full of disappointment. “I’m the one who owes you an apology. I should have asked you if you’d be comfortable with them staying here before I even offered.”
“I would have said no.” I shrug, because that’s the truth. I would have. “But I’m glad they’re here.”
He takes a long look at me. “Grams would be proud of you, you know.”
I snort, thinking of my trashed twelve steps and Alex and Whitney and everyone else that I’ve hurt. “No. She wouldn’t.”
“She would.” He says this with confirmation in his voice. “I’m sorry, Goose. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to leave your friends—your life here. I thought I was doing you right, but I didn’t put you in a great situation. Having to leave, well, that wasn’t fair to you, was it? I sure didn’t make it easy. But you’re handling coming back as best you can, and I know Grams knows that.”
I nod, feeling hot tears well up behind my eyes. “I miss her.”
My dad puts an arm around me, and I feel myself leaning into him. “I miss her, too.”
We fall quiet, and I know we’re both thinking of her. For as much as I miss her, I don’t think I ever let myself openly grieve. But here, with my dad, I don’t try and stop the tears that fall.
After a minute, he hands me another peppermint patty. “Do me a favor, though?”
I glance up at him.
“No boys.” He reconsiders this. “No boys until you’re thirty.”
“Dad.”
“Thirty-five.”
I crack a smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was with Alex.”
“Well, there’s a name I haven’t heard in a while.”
I want to say he won’t be hearing much more of it, but I don’t.
We watch a few minutes ofCrime Bossbefore he turns back to me. “I was thinking of having a barbecue here with everyone on Sunday. Are you okay with that?”
I nod in affirmation, realizing I don’t really mind having these people around. They’re helping not only my dad, but each other, too.
“Dad?”
He looks at me.
“Did the twelve-step program work for you?”
He thinks for a moment. “Not at first… but I think it’s only because I wasn’t allowing it to work, if that makes sense? I’d get stuck on steps for what I now realize are very obvious reasons, like I didn’t admit my problem to myself. Or I didn’t feel like I owed someone an apology. And a part of that was because I was too stubborn and prideful, but not enough to not want to fix myself.”
“I tried to make a list for myself when I came back,” I admit. “But it sort of backfired.”
My dad smiles. “You know, there’s a step—step nine—that says ‘Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.’ Even if you don’t realize it, both of our apologies accomplish just that.”
I remember my promise to fix my relationships with everyone. Those weren’t bad steps to take, but it’s about time I accepted my life is different now. Not in a bad way. I’ve gained three extra people in the house who really care about me. About Dad. And I know even Grams would be grateful for that.
I lean into his shoulder. “I’m glad you came back.”
