I’m blown away by how similar her past mindset is to my current mind fuck. I hate what she’s been through, but I’m feeling a hell of a lot less alone.
It’s wild how powerful empathy can be.
“That line of thinking,” I say. “How’d you get past it?”
“Gabi. She convinced me that what had happened to my parents wasn’t cosmic punishment.Sometimes life is just really unfair,she said one night after I’d spent hours crying. Somehow, her simple logic rose above months of irrational self-blame.”
“She sounds smart.”
“She totally is. So, Henry, I’m going to tell you what she toldme: Sometimes life is just really unfair.”
I smile. She’s chipping away at the wall self-appointed culpability has spent two seasons building. “I just wish there were something I could do to turn things around for myself, and especially for Whit. She’s still really struggling.”
Piper’s expression is serious, introspective. “I wonder if she keeps reaching out to you because she wants to reclaim the person she was before all of this. Or maybe she’s looking for permission to move on from the loss. Or maybe she’s waiting to be shown that she’s still worthy of the life she wants, even after suffering through this terrible thing.”
My mom has expressed similar theories and doled out comparable advice. For whatever reason, though, her words have never sunk in the way Piper’s are now.
“If I could go back in time,” I say, “I’d do a million things differently.”
Softly, she says, “Me too.”
Piper
Henry’s history with Whitney—Whit—isn’t the stuff of average high school romances.
They could’ve had ababytogether.
I can’t help but wish he’d told me this story before now. It’s heavy—the hurt he’s endured, the connection he shares with her, regardless of whether they’re together or apart. Trauma has so obviously marked him, leaving a scar on his soul.
This layer, thissecret…I almost feel like I’m meeting him for the first time.
Though who am I to toss stones? I live within the cold confines of a glass house.
I should’ve told him the truth about what happened with Damon weeks ago.
“Hey,” he says. “You okay?”
I nod, but emotionally, I’m wrung out.
“You want something to drink? I can run inside.”
“Yeah, thank you. Water? Or soda?”
My voice sounds froggy, like I’ve spent the night screaming through a concert.
He watches me for a minute, worry pinching his features, then leaves me on our chair and jogs toward the house. The windows are alight, vibrating with a bass beat. I catch sight of Gabi inside with Anna and Michaela. She laughs, tossing her braids over her shoulder. I haven’t seen her so carefree since before she and Damon got together.
I’m so glad she’s rid of him.
Henry’s been gone only a minute when his phone chimes again.
I regard it like it’s a scorpion, tail raised, ready to strike.
Don’t do it, I tell myself, but holy balls. How am I supposed tonotlook?
I glance back at the house. I can see Henry in the kitchen. He’s getting a drink. For me. Like a gentleman.
And here I am, seriously considering invading his privacy.
