After dinner, I drag Ryan and Xavier to The Hamlet for milkshakes. We sit at the counter, three instead of two. Xavier asks for vanilla, Ryan orders peanut butter, and I stick with my tested-and-true coconut. When it arrives, I experience an unsettling sense ofdéjàvuat its tropical taste. Except, the last time I had a coconut shake, life was relatively good.
I’m pushing my full glass away, suddenly without appetite when, in a tone unfittingly casual, Ryan says, “Mati called this afternoon.”
His name shatters the air like a hammer to glass. “Can we… not talk about him?”
“He’s a mess, Elise.”
“I’ma mess,” I say, too loud. I take a breath and swiftly reinforce my wall.
“He told me what happened. About the”—awkward throat clear—“engagement. He told me about the way his mother acted. She must really hate you, by the way.”
Xavier elbows him. “Don’t be an ass.”
Ryan plows ahead, undeterred. “Healsotold me he’s crazy in love with you.”
“Did he tell you he lied by omission, over and over? Did he tell you he tried to justify it?”
“He told me he misses you. You’re wasting your time with him. Six days and he’s gone. I know you’re hurt, but come on. You’re punishing him for something that’s not his fault.”
I add stones to my wall, big ones, and bolsters for strength.
Six days. God, it’s hard to breathe.
“He’s a good guy, Elise.”
I won’t argue that. He’s giving up his future, hislife, to better his community. Short of my brother’s death, I can’t fathom a bigger sacrifice.
Ryan leans in, resting his hand on my arm. “He’s agoodguy.”
“I know,” I whisper.
“Then don’t give yourself room for regret.”
“Even if this is it with Mati,” Xavier says, his tone indicating a fresh perspective. “If you stick to your guns, decide you’re done, and that you never want to talk to him again, at least you got to know him. At least you had the experience, right?”
Ryan nods. “Right. But seriously. If you want to give him a call, we wouldn’t stop you.”
I smile for the first time in too long. “What am I going to do when you guys are gone?”
“Make new friends,” Ryan says, like it’s easy. He nods at my full glass. “Now, finish your milkshake.” Glancing at his own, empty but fora few smears of peanut butter and whipped cream, then Xavier’s, practically licked clean, he adds, “Unless you only brought us here to fatten us up?”
“Actually… I brought you here because I talked to your gram this morning.”
His cheeks go pink. Xavier becomes suddenly fascinated with his straw.
“You hurt her feelings, Ryan.”
He draws a hand over his face. “I know.”
“What happened? I mean, notexactly, but how did she, you know… figure it out?”
“She went down the street to Ms. Pinque’s after dinner. Xavier came over and I guess we lost track of time. Gram came home and… kind of walked in on us.”
I wince. “You were…?”
“Kissing,” Xavier says with a sheepish, though not entirely repentant shrug. “On the sofa.”
“She was shocked, to say the least,” Ryan adds.
