Kyle rolls his eyes. “That commentsodeserves to be mocked, and yet I kind of hope so, too.” He turns to me. “You didn’t see Max last night?”
“No. Why would I?”
“’Cause your parents hang out? I figured you two might end up getting together.”
“Nope, though I did have a brief encounter with him yesterday afternoon.”
“A brief encounter?” Leah says. “Sounds like you’re talking about a wild animal.”
“I mean, basically. I just…” The hurt of yesterday’s spurn finds me all over again, and I drop my elbows to the counter, letting my chin fall to my hands. “I feel so helpless. We’ve been friends for so long.… I should be able to make it easier for him to deal with what happened to his dad. Instead, I’m just standing by, watching him fall apart.”
“That’s not what you’re doing,” Leah says, reaching out to squeeze my hand.
But, yeah, I kind of am. Yesterday’s visit was a complete fail, and I abandoned him the night Officer Tate brought him home, the night he needed someone in his corner more than any other. I haven’t stopped regretting it.
“You can’t keep him from acting like an idiot,” Kyle says. “None of us can.”
Leah nods. “But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need his friends.”
“He still hangs out with his friends,” I mumble, looking at Kyle. “He sees you and Jesse and Leo all the time. He sees Becky.”
“Becky’snothis friend,” Leah says.
Kyle nudges me. “You are. We all are. Max’ll come around, but for now, we’re gonna have to ride it out. We’ll be there for him in the best ways we know how.”
I nod. I can do that. I can exist in Max’s world the way I used to.…
As a friend.
16
THE MONDAY AFTER WINTER BREAK, I CATCHa ride home from school with Leah, then wait in the living room, watching out the window for Leo’s Tahoe to pull into the Holdens’ driveway. Max’s truck hasn’t moved since his clash with Officer Tate, but Ivy’s car is gone and so is Marcy’s, which means Bill’s not home, either. This is a good thing… I think.
Meredith wanders in and out of the living room, biding time, I guess, trying to engage me in conversation. While I’m putting extra effort into being kind as her pregnancy winds down—the leech baby is siphoning her energy like nobody’s business—I’m too anxious for mindless chitchat.
Finally, Leo’s SUV veers into the Holdens’ driveway. I can hear the heavy thump of his music’s bass even from inside the house. Max climbs out, lifts his hand in a wave, then makes his way to the front door. Even though my heart’s doing nervous pirouettes, I allow him five minutes—who knows what boys do when they get home from school?—then give Meredith a bogus excuse about needing to borrow a recipe from Marcy and jog across the street.
I have to ring the bell twice before Max opens the door. To say he’s confused when he sees me standing on the porch would be a major understatement.
“Uh, hey,” he says, running a hand through his hair.
His lack of enthusiastic welcome isn’t a surprise, but it makes me even more nervous. Doesn’t matter, though—I’m not going to botch this. I’m going to say what I came to say, and then I’m going to let him make the next move.
I breeze past him, right into the house, which smells of fresh baking, like ginger and nutmeg. He trails me to the kitchen, eyeing me like my intrusion is possibly perilous. I open the fridge and root around inside, mentally reviewing my Be Max’s Friend plan until I find two cans of Coke. I pull them out and hold one out to him. “Thirsty?”
“I guess.” He takes the can, pops the top, then hands it back to me.
“Thanks,” I say, trading. I like this about him—his instinctual chivalry—and I find myself smiling as I watch him open the second soda for himself.
He takes a swig, then leans back against the countertop. “What’re you doing here, Jill?”
“I came to see how your first day back to school was.” I say this like it’s nothing—like I drop by to check in on him all the time.
He shrugs. “Predictable.”
“And your New Year?”
“I stayed home, a choice that wasn’t well-received by… some.”
