I pulled my phone free, scrambling to think of a good lie. We hadn’t exchanged any new details like Trent wanted.
JackASS
Tell me something for today’s session, Dipshit.
Who dis?
“Cal?”
“Uh, he said good morning and that his favorite color is pink.”
Jack turned slowly and hit me with a blank stare that spoke his thoughts loud and clear. I winced, a bit sorry for the joke today. He’d no doubt get me back for it.
Trent either figured we were lying, or hell, maybe he liked pink. He nodded a few times, then asked Jack what I had sent him.
Jack cleared his throat, and I held my breath.
Staring at his phone, he said, “‘Jack, good morning. I’m glad we can have these moments to open up. I’ll start today off with a bit of truth. I like peeing in the pool because the warm water feels nice on my balls.’” To me, Jack stage-whispered, “I don’t want to know about your balls, dude.”
I dropped my chin and sucked my lips over my teeth to hold back a snort of laughter.
Again, Trent either expected the stupidity or wanted to believe we were sort of taking this seriously. “Well, that’s something, isn’t it?” he said. “How about next time going beyond surface level, and let’s dig into some real emotions between you two.”
Emotions? How about the unexplained ones that had erupted inside me like mini tornadoes when Jack had stared me down in the parking lot after school on Monday? I’d left my gear in my truck, and since I’d already been late enough for practice, I hadn’t wasted time running for the locker room with my clothes.
Jack’s gaze had been a heavy hand as he’d raked it down my half-naked body. If I’d flexed a little more than necessary to put my shirt on, to hide myself from the look on his face, well,I couldn’t be blamed for that. It’d been reactive. Like, it had to have been appreciation that had darkened his features for a second, and it was natural to show off, right? It hadn’t meant anything.
Yet, two days later, I replayed every second of it and came away with more confusion. For the first time,fighthadn’t been my jump-to impulse. That might’ve meant something, but I didn’t know what.
“You’re both aware of the Athletic Leadership Camp, right?” Trent asked.
“Coach mentioned it,” Jack said, while I swallowed my wayward thoughts.
“It’s been around for a while, but this will be the first year our school has participated.” I nodded along, because like Jack had told this idiot, Coach Sullivan had said all this too. “It’s designed for young kids to show them teamwork and how to lead by example, things like that.” Yup. “Each year, they ask for volunteers to assist, like, camp counselors. We’re sending you both.”
“Yeah, I figured that’s what you meant.” I glanced at the clock. Forty fucking more minutes of this shit.
“We’re sending your other captains, Nick and Ty, too.”
“Great.”
Trent stared at me, maybe watching for some sort of reaction or hoping I’d, I dunno, open up and talk to him. He could keep on waiting.
Finally, he sighed and said, “The school will be decorating for the fall festival coming up. I’ve made sure to put y’all down for heavy lifting. Anything that’s going to take the both of you.”
I nodded. When Trent had mentioned us working together, the fall festival was the first thing that came to mind. The whole town got involved in it. Decorations and planning were over-the-top, but it always ended up being fun. This year, I wasn’t too thrilled for it, and that I couldn’t even blame on Jack.
During my junior year, the whole world had turned bleak in a span of months. We used to do the fall festival as a family. Last fall, my parents had already been deep into the angry weeks leading to them announcing their divorce. Neither had shown up for anything after that.
They told us they were separating the weekend after Thanksgiving. Cara had cried while I sat numb. Far from being surprising, I’d almost been relieved by it, and that had brought on the guilt. Since then, nothing but the constant yelling had changed. Home held this thick cloud that became a chore to be around. I couldn’t talk to either of my parents without hearing the latest argument between them before getting quickly dismissed for something else more important.
Not many of my friends knew about it, and for some reason, that gave me a little peace. I didn’t want to bring anyone down. I didn’t want my parents’ lives to affect my own. I kept up the smiling face and the bright attitude for everyone else while inside, things got darker and ugly.
When Jack had said he’d heard I was a nice guy, I truly wanted to scream back that I was. Iwasa fucking nice guy. But was I anymore? Was I a fraud? A faker? Too bad I didn’t trust Trent. I really did need someone to talk to. Anything I said in thissafe spacewould get back to Principal Woodson, then to my parents, no doubt.
The rest of the hour was the same as Monday. Trent ran out of his open-ended questions and reminisced about his school days. My mood tanked. Words and urges ate at my inside. Things I needed to say out loud to make sense of, but I had no one. Dozens offriends, and not a single one I wanted to unload all my bullshit on.
Talk to Jack.
