“Cara. Room. Now,” Daddy said.
Fearless, my little sister lifted her chin and came to stand next to me. Momma and Daddy glanced at each other, and then Daddy sighed.
“Your behavior this year has been intolerable, young man,” Momma said. “Fighting, bullying …”
“Cal is no bully,” Cara snapped.
“Watch your tone,” Momma said. “Your brother is on thin ice, and now I see the both of you have just run wild while I’ve been gone.”
Daddy reared back as he spun on his heels to face her. “You’re kidding me,” he deadpanned. “You’re blaming me for this?”
Momma turned slowly, scarily, like without a muscle twitch, just willed herself to pivot. “You know, I don’t recall mentioning you at all in that statement, but come to think of it, yes I am.” Momma waved toward Cara and me. “Obviously, you’ve been treating them the same as you treated me, carelessly, lazily, no concern whatsoever as long as money was in the bank.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do?” Daddy shouted. “I work long days, and when I come home, it’s not done. I’ve got paperwork, research. I’m on call half the week, and the other half, I barely have time to sleep, much less anything remotely close to normal fathers or husbands. I’m only one fucking person, Sara.”
Cara pressed closer to me, circling my wrist with her small hand. I’d long since gotten used to them together like this, but shouting in general made her uncomfortable.
“You both need to stop,” I tossed into their standoff.
Daddy pointed at me. “You’ve got no room to talk in this. You’re just as much a drain on my sanity as your momma.”
Momma gasped, but no doubt it was for her own sake and not mine.
“Stop being so mean,” Cara shouted. “You won’t even listen to him.”
“It’s okay, Cara,” I muttered, not wanting her to fight my battles.
But then again, wasIfighting my battles?
Their life isn’t more important than you living your own.
Daddy scoffed. “Just like your momma, Cal.”
“I can hear you,” Momma sneered.
Daddy didn’t stop to reply to her. “You’ve been given everything in life, and what have you done with it? There are kids out there without a dime to their name, and you’ve wastedyour privilege.” He shook his head. “You think a college like MIT is in your future now? With your history of fighting, they won’t look twice at your application.”
“I don’t care,” I shot back. Tired. Done. Just so done with this shit. “Maybe not MIT, and obviously not with your help, but I’m getting the hell out of here. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you, this house, it makes me sick.”
And true to form, he went on as if I’d said nothing, ignoring me. “The pranks, stirring up trouble with other athletes, and this shit with your girlfriend has tanked your chances.”
“She’s not my—” I forced through gritted teeth, but he talked over me, of course.
“You had a good thing going with that girl, and you shat all over it. Did you cheat on her too?”
“What the hell, Martin?” Momma gaped.
Yet again, they turned on each other, yelling, accusing, trying to be the loudest in the room. Cara flinched at my side each time they traded shouts and barbs. Both were red-faced and heaving. It’d been a while since all four us were in this house with no one else to hear the ugly truths flung between them.
The walls had done their best to hide the painful parts of this family from the world over the last year. And I’d become one of those walls. Something strong and immovable for their arguments to bounce off. I’d reinforced it with smiles in public and torments in private. I’d pushed the hurt, the stinging reality, so far down, no wonder I’d never been able to stand up against Sasha. This had become normal. This strain to remain upright created a never-ending fatigue that I couldn’t muster the strength to do anything other than stand tall. The battered places had healed over with scar tissue and made me numb to everything.
Everything except …
Jack.
With teeth, he’d bitten into me. With nails, he’d dug deeper and deeper. With cutting words and desperation, he’d torn me down, the wall. Not to hurt me, but tofreeme.
Cara sniffled and blinked away tears with thinned lips and red cheeks.
