Pain bloomed in my throat so quickly I choked. “Cal.” I meant to say out loud, to beg once more to stay, to be here for him as he figured this out, but no sound came.
Cal turned his back on me.
“For the last time, get out of my house,” Mr. Winters said, this time with a deadly calm that shook me more than his shouts had rang in my ears.
I didn’t remember leaving. Cal’s dejected form, bent with defeat, was the only thing I saw until I was parked in my own driveway. Spots swam in my vision, and try as I might, I couldn’t stop shaking or gasping for air.Breathe, don’t freak out.Breathe.
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled as I raced into the house.
“Jack?” Ty’s voice reached me from the living room, and I headed in that direction on instinct, seeking any sort of comfort or protection against the emotions swamping me.
We met in the hallway, and I collapsed into him.
“What the … Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “Cal,” I heaved, incapable of getting air. “M-mom?” The tightness in my chest wouldn’t let me say more.
“Hey, hey. Calm down. They’re on their way home from the store.”
My knees gave out, and I hit the floor. One arm around my waist, as if that might contain the panic, I leaned forward, seeking something. Maybe the cold tiles or something to bang my head against.
“You’re scaring me. What happened?”
I shook my head again as the tears took over, draining out of me as if they were bleeding my soul dry. Pressure mounted in my head, and all I could do was stare, eyes open but unseeing, and fight for air as Cal’s words played in my mind over and over.
I missed you.
You’re the only one.
Please.
He needed me. His family was shit to him, and I’d left him there alone to deal with it. I should’ve ignored his dad. What would he have done? Fought me? I could take him. I could take anything for Cal, and I’d fucking left him!
“Oh God …” I whispered and doubled over. Dizziness attacked me until I couldn’t tell up from down.
“Stay here.”
Ty left me, and my shivering took over.
Left me.
Left him.
Alone.
Cal!my heart screamed.Oh my God, Cal. What was he going through right now? What had his dad said? His words mashed together, yelling over top of each other. Sasha fighting? They thought Cal hurt her? Police? Nothing made sense.
Ty came back a minute later with his phone to his ear, a bottle of water, and a washcloth from the hall bathroom. “Please just hurry,” he yelled into the phone, then sat down beside me. With the washcloth, he wiped at my face, then coaxed me into drinking a little.
“Mom and Dad will be here any minute, okay? Just try to slow your breathing for me. Got it?”
It was too late. I was already hyperventilating. The painful lack of control in my hands and the tingling in my face scared me even more, and instead of slowing my breathing, it sped up.
“Jesus, Jack, please. Slow down.”
I wished I could comfort Ty as I hadn’t been able to for Cal, but I couldn’t even speak. The shadows were so dark I could barely see. Where did this end? What happened if I couldn’t stop it?
The garage door slammed open, but the sound was muted behind Mr. Winters yelling in my mind and Cal’s whisperedplease.
