“I need to know. I need to understand. Right now, I feel like everyone knows everything about my life, my history, who I am, and I’m just wading through the dark waiting for something to get me. I need to understand. Need to take control back.”
He nods and takes a deep breath. “The true fae raised him. They found him nearly dead in a cave and rescued him…”
EVERLEE - LET THE WOLF OUT
Thenextseveraldaysgo by in a monotonous routine. Breakfast, library, dinner, bed and repeat. We all sense the danger looming over us because of my situation and their lies to Samara.
Callum and I spend most of our day in the library studying and reading up on true fae and Djinn, trying to understand everything about them. Callum has collected thousands of books over the years, and even though we are systematically going through them, there isn’t much about the Djinn. They have a few mentions in some books, but it’s very surface level. Nothing about the full extent of their powers or what defeats them. If they can be defeated…
If they could’ve been defeated, then why didn’t the true fae do it? I know they were the founders of the light fae and were a benevolent creature. So much so that it cost them their lives in the end, but why not stop them? Self-preservation would have to outweigh their moral code, wouldn’t it?
I guess that’s a dumb question because it didn’t. Even when the hunters were killing them, they didn’t defend themselves against the humans.
That’s not me though. If someone comes after me, I will strike back.
Does that make me a dark fae?
I’ve never had to align myself with the light or the dark because I’ve never had powers. I always considered myself in the middle and would often joke I was the gray fae.
Since Knox told me about Callum, I understand why this is so important to him and what he’s getting out of it. Callum is a dragon. A protector. Protector of the weak and the true fae. He’s made it his mission to guard me, feeling the guilt of what happened years ago. I’m his chance at redemption for his soul. And a way out from under Samara’s thumb. He knows that Djinn and true fae are connected.
The light and the dark.
Yin and the Yang.
We just need to figure out how to crack the code between us.
I apologized to him, and he said he forgave me, but things still seem a little tense around the house. Jax still seems to hate me, Emmett, while nice to me is still fighting urges to kill me, Callum seems… I don’t know… confused. And Knox… he brings a smile to my face every time I see him or think about him.
Knox floats in and out throughout the days and tries to help read through the books, but he can’t stay focused long enough. He brings us food, and will oftentimes, slip in behind me on the bench at the window and will either rub my shoulders while I read or will simply wrap his arms around me and hold me.
He yearns for connection. Love. And I find it so easy to give it to him. Quite the contrast to Jax, who just seems to carry a darkness around with him. It’s a wonder he and Knox get along. I mean, sure, Jax is constantly telling Knox to fuck off, but there’s a love under all the words, all the motions, that is bright as day. I know if anyone were to try to harm Knox, Jax would be the first one in line to lay them out. Without hesitation. Without question.
I can’t help but wonder what he would do about me if I was in trouble. I’d like to think he’d protect me. That he doesn’t really hate me as much as he seems, but I don’t know.
Him and Emmett haven’t been home much, and when they are, they’re downstairs with blood donors. It’s been a revolving door, so much so that Knox has even mentioned it. I don’t know why they bring them here, seems dangerous letting people into the house, but I’m sure they have protections in place I’m unaware of.
Some of my superpowers have started to come in and get stronger and more consistent. When my super hearing came in, I didn’t tell anyone at first, although I don’t know why Callum didn’t know. I imagine it was confusing at first when I was answering questions or contributing to conversations that were happening in other parts of the house. When I realized what was happening, I quickly got it under control and used it to my advantage, listening to Jax and Emmett talk about me. Did I feel a little guilty for eavesdropping? Yes. But I wanted to know what Jax’s problem was with me.
Is with me.
All I gathered was Emmett giving him a hard time about Jax wanting to fuck me, but denying himself the pleasure of my pussy. Which Emmett said was fantastic, so that made me happy. Jax just denied it, but said nothing else.
Mindlinking came in the day after. I’d been getting snippets of it for a while, but it’s been inconsistent at best. Now I’m able to control it. Reading through the texts, I’ve gathered I should also get super speed at some point, and potentially flight. Not all true fae could fly, but some could. That would be pretty fucking cool. I’d always wished for that when I was in school and having to trek fifteen minutes across campus. Often times, I would kill time on my walks, trying to figure out how I could just hover.
Last night after dinner, Knox and I were playing around. He grabbed me from behind and was trying to tackle me to the floor and I accidentally created a little light ball and shot it across the room. Callum told me the fae call them Luxpheras and that it’s basically photokinesis. Building and storing energy. He shared that when he was little, he was scared of the starless nights, so Sofrai and Feyra would create these Luxpheras to dance in the air, simulating stars for him. While they used it to calm a child down, he pointed out they are very dangerous. The extent of their power is still unknown, since most true fae didn’t document or use the lights for bad.
Hopefully, my super speed will come in soon. Each time something else is unlocked in me, I feel like I’m one step closer to this being over. One more piece of armor in my invisible suit. One more thing in my arsenal I can use to fight against Samara when the time comes, so these guys don’t have to.
My fork dangles on my finger as the last bite of lasagna sits on my plate. It’s my second helping that I didn’t want to want, but needed to have. It’s delicious. Absolutely the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. Emmett truly is a master chef and the fact he can’t taste the food he prepares and it’s still wonderful absolutely blows my mind.
“Want to go on the roof tonight?” Knox asks.
“The roof?” I stab the last piece of lasagna and stare at it.
“Yea, you’ve been reading and studying a ton. You need a break. We all do.”
“What have you been doing?” Jax barks. His eyes catch mine for a second before they dart back to Knox. My heart beats twice and my stomach tightens for a second and I can’t understand how he has this hold on me. It has to simply be the fact that we haven’t fucked. Like the whole want what you can’t have type thing.
