Her bag feels like a lead weight in my hand as I walk with it up the stairs. It’s a representation of the constraints that are now placed on the rest of the week. No more smiles from Ev, no more flirty touches, or inappropriate jokes. No more holding her, cuddling with her, or sleeping with her.
Turning into the first room, I move to set her bag on the bed.
Emmett pokes his head in. “The one across the hall is better. It has a Jack and Jill bathroom with the bedroom closest to the main bedroom.”
“Shit.”
“What?”
“The bedroom with no mattress because of our little love nest? Thank God she didn’t walk up here on her own.” We walk across the hall and place her things on the bed. “Do you want to help me set the rooms up?”
“No,” he pouts. “But I will.”
We move to our bedroom and lift the mattress off the floor and put it back on the bed frame in the room which adjoins to Donna’s. Quickly, but quietly, we deconstruct our room, moving the bed back into place, along with any furniture we may have moved. The room looks simple now.
Plain.
Uninviting.
Emmett heads back downstairs to check on lunch while I sit on the bed, trying to get out of this funk. Trying to find the positive in this screwed up situation.
It’s stupid to be this upset about something.
Right?
I love sleeping with Ev, but I also really love sleeping without the guys. I don’t mind the group sleeps, but it’s what we do almost every night. Who knows… this could be good for us. Although, doing the math, that means two of us have to share a bed.
A quick flash of Emmett passes through my head, but I quickly dismiss it, pushing it away. Knox and Emmett will take the other two bedrooms up here and share a bathroom, while Callum and I bunk up in here together. Not ideal, but makes the most sense.
But none of us will be with Ev and the thought alone reignites a fire inside of me. Why am I having such a hard time with this?
Because you’re scared,my subconscious unwelcomingly chimes in.
I’m not scared.
Scared that with her mother here, she will see why this is a bad idea. Why you all can’t be together? Scared she will want safe. Normal. Not this, not you all. Which is reckless and taboo.
As if hearing my thoughts, Ev slides open the pocket door of the bathroom and is standing there, wet, head to toe, with a towel casually wrapped around her. The steam is billowing out of the bathroom while the water head in the shower still presses water out.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes grow wide as sadness sweeps across her face. She takes in the room and it hits her.
“Jax.” She reaches her hand out to me, but I just stare at her.
She looks so sad and broken… and red. Her eyes are red. She’s been crying.
She lightly stomps her foot on the ground, shaking her hand like a child would do when they aren’t getting their way and words are just too hard to use.
Her towel drops to the floor and I freeze, mesmerized by her beauty.
This is such a bad fucking idea.
But I don’t care.
My feet carry me across the room as I reach out for her hand.
EVERLEE - FIDDLESTICKS AND BISCUITS
Whyisitthathot showers make you cry when you’re feeling emotional? It’s like the best cries always happen in the shower. Is it because of the noise? It helps drown out the sorrows? Is it because you can just let the tears stream down your face without having to feel guilty for wiping them away?
