Trying to keep it together, I wink at her, then look at my guys. They have a mixture of looks on their faces and parts of me are breaking inside.
JAX - FIXING IT BACK
Theroomissilentas we all watch Everlee walk upstairs. Her face. It’s breaking my heart and makes me want to punch a hole through a wall. I need to go outside for a minute to calm down. Losing my shit in front of her mother wouldn’t be the best thing to do, especially since she already looks at us the way she does. It’s not fear, or disgust… but it’s something.
“I’m going to get our stuff from the beach, since I don’t think we’ll be going out there anymore.”
“Let me help,” Emmett offers, hesitating and waiting for my approval.
After a second, I nod. I don’t know why I waited. I wasn’t trying to be a dick or make it awkward, but that’s the way things have been lately. Awkward. And it’s probably my fault. Actually, I know it’s me, but I don’t know how to change it or fix it.
The rain is pouring down, but the lightning and thunder seem to have stopped, which is a good thing. Fairly certain Everlee would kill me if I got hit by lightning. She would bring me back to life, just to kill me again. Darling, fiery angel that she is.
“So that sucks,” Emmett says, walking a pace behind me.
We haven’t talked much, which sucks because I miss talking to him. He’s the only one who just lets me be me. Callum tries to fix whatever he perceives is broken, Knox, in general, is a little shit, though he can be a strong rock when I need him to be. And I try to never need him because… well, that would mean I’m having a moment and I don’t like having moments. Moments are for the weak. Not Jax fucking McCall.
Emmett just gets me like no one else does. He presses when he needs to, calls me on my shit when I need it, and is just fucking there.
I shouldn’t have done what I did. It was the wrong fucking thing to do, and it can’t happen again, but I’m scared to tell him that because I don’t want him to think what happened was wrong, because it wasn’t.
“Yea.”
“Poor Ev. She’s probably losing her damn mind right now.”
“Yea.” I realize I’m being short, but I’m not trying to be. I just don’t know what to say. Having her mom here fucking sucks. Ev is going to retreat inside of her shell and again our happy little butterfly is going to disappear. Although if she were a butterfly, she’d be a black butterfly with a skull on its back because she is a kinky little fucker now and I love it.
“Load me up.”
“What?” I look over at him and he’s standing in a starfish pose, with his arms open wide.
“There’s a lot of stuff. Slide the bags on my arms, throw the towels on me. Load me up. I am but a mere vessel for your future work of art.”
I can’t help but laugh. “You’re a dumbass. You’re close to Knox level craziness.”
“Jax,” he says sternly. “That’s a low blow.”
“Shut up and get over here.”
He steps the three paces and his hand grabs my wrist. “Are we good?” His voice lowers with a look of concern on his face.
I smile and pull my wrist from his grip and shove his shoulder. “Yea. We’re good.”
He nods, then resumes his starfish pose. The rain starts pouring, and it takes us about five minutes to get all the bags and towels hung and draped around him. The rumbling in the distance lights a fire under our ass. He walks back to the house with the waddle of a penguin, looking like some sort of swamp monster. I’m left with the random things, like the bocce ball set, football and a few starfish Everlee and Lizzy found this morning.
When we get back to the house, Beckett, Will, and Knox are putting together a large platter of fruits, cheeses, crackers, and sandwich meats for a buffet style lunch. Lizzy and Tony are talking about wedding plans with Mrs. McKinley in the living room while Callum walks around the area, tidying things up and setting the table for lunch.
I’m soaking wet and need to change. Emmett must have taken the bags and towels into the laundry room to dry because I don’t see him, only wet footprints on the floor leading down the hall.
“Mrs. McKinley, I’m heading upstairs. Would you like for me to take your things up and place them in a room?”
Lizzy stops talking and looks at me and her face falls.
“You can call me Donna, and that would be lovely. Thank you…” her words fall off as she tries to remember my name.
“Jax.”
“Jax. That’s right,” she smiles, but doesn’t say anything else.
