Here goes nothing.
Whammo Blammo
ThirtyminuteslaterIwas waiting for my ride share to pull up, dressed in the skimpiest outfit I’d worn in several years, with an inconspicuously conspicuous beige trench coat draped around me with a pair of red angel wings in my hand and six inch red stilettos on.
The light blue, four-door sedan pulled up two minutes later with a woman as old as my grandmother driving, with her hair in rollers and a daisy patterned top on. I checked the license plate with the app on my phone and the driver's picture matched.
Betty.
Of all the people I could have gotten, it would be a Betty. I was certain I was going to have the scripture read to me on the entire car ride to the club.
I climbed in the back seat and she confirmed the address of the club. She flipped on her blinker and slowly pulled onto the road, casting several curious glances my way. This was going to be the most awkward twenty-minute ride of my life.
Lizzy sent me a picture of her and Tony. Her large white wings were highlighted against her light brown skin and dark hair and Tony was on her arm, chest exposed, loving life. She looked so happy and I loved that for her. I just didn’t love she was in the dating stage where she tried to replicate her happiness in my life. She’s already told me she was going to marry this guy, which seems a bit premature, but she’s certain. And one thing about Lizzy is she always gets her way. I looked at the wings on the seat. Case in point. And the three times I’ve met Tony, he seemed over the moon with her too, so hopefully it worked out. She’d had some real assholes in the past, so I’d be ecstatic if she found her Prince Charming.
“Big plans tonight?” Betty asked with a deep southern accent, gripping the steering wheel.
“A party.” Keep it simple.
She nodded and hummed. Yea Betty, I too would be wondering what kind of party I was going to.
“I did that once.” She blurted, without reservation.
“Go to a party?”
She hesitated for a second. “Yes. A party.”
You little wild child Betty, I teased to myself.
“Then the cops were called.”
“Oh.” My neck jerked back in surprise. Shit.
“Yea. They caught me snorting coke off a penis.”
I choked. What the fuck, Betty? Not at all where I saw this story going.
“Sorry if that was too much. I just figured, you know. With you dressed like that… going to a party and all.”
“No, no. All good.” I pinched my arm to make sure I hadn’t somehow hit my head and was passed out at my house. “What… happened?” Dare I ask… Yes, I dare. I very fucking much dare. Betty has surprised me and now I need to know more about her party.
She noticeably relaxed. “Well, I stopped going to parties. Scared me straight. I was rebelling against my father. He was our town’s local preacher.”
I swallowed hard and then looked around the car for hidden cameras. I felt like I was being punked right now. “So you never went to another party again because of the one?”
“Well, no. I wasn’t allowed to.”
“You weren’t allowed to go to anymore parties? Can they do that?” I felt bad for Betty. One time getting caught snorting coke off a penis and bam! No more parties!
“Well, yea. I suppose they can.” She shook her head like I had asked a stupid question, but there was clearly something I was missing. “Anyway, I settled down and found a real nice man who takes real good care of me now.”
I looked around again, certain I’d missed the cameras on the first pass. I felt like there were large chunks… important chunks, missing from her story.
“Is it just you? It’s not safe to be going to parties alone.”
I couldn’t help but feel parties was a code word for something else. “No. There’s… I don’t know how many people are there, but I would have to guess a lot. It’s at a club. I’m meeting my best friend there with her boyfriend.”
“Oh, that’s trouble.”
