I put my head between my knees, trying to ease the nausea rising inside me. I wish I had one of those puckerbites. The one Poppy gave me helped so much. But at least no one’s around right now to see me huddled in the stairwell, struggling to climb the rest of the way to the astronomy dome.
Raelan is probably already up there. Is he gonna be pissed if I don’t show up? I could just sit here and wait for him to come down. But then he might not want to help me, and he’s already going out of his way as is.
I groan and push my fingers into my hair. I never thought a fear of heights would hold me back so much.
Okay, I need to get it together, stop letting my mind run away with me.
My lungs expand as I drag a deep breath in through my nose, then let it out in a sigh. I do it again, then again, trying to calm the frantic rhythm of my heart. Then I close my eyes, feel the cool stone against the backs of my thighs as I sit on the stair, and remind myself why I’m here.
I asked Poppy to the ball, and she said yes. And the look in her eyes when she smiled down at me might as well have been glimmer dust—a powdered hallucinogen that makes everything look like it’s sparkling, like you’re trapped inside a big glittering gemstone. I’ve only used it once, at a party a couple years ago, but I felt so fucked-up afterward that I told myself I’d never do it again.
Poppy’s smile, though, is a drug I’m more than happy to indulge in. And when I pull her onto the ballroom floor at that ball, I want to see that smile, and I want to be able to lead her through a dance without tripping all over myself or stepping on her little feet.
The thought of accidentally crushing her toes under my foot makes me cringe.
There’s no way I can let that happen. Which means I need to get my ass off this stair and into the astronomy dome.
Another wave of nausea starts to creep up on me, but I take a deep breath and push it down.
Just imagine Poppy in her dress, I tell myself as I balance against the stone wall while easing to my feet.What color will it be? Pink? Maybe purple?I take another step, along with another steadying breath.She might wear that glittery makeup again. And I wouldn’t even care if it got all over me.Another step, another breath.She might let me kiss her again, right there in the middle of the dance floor.
Using this method of focusing on Poppy and nothing else, I keep climbing the spiraling staircase, one agonizing step at a time.
When my boots kiss the top step, I pause, sucking in a deep breath like I’m finally coming up for air. But it’s kind of the opposite—because now I’m hundreds of feet in the air, exactly where Idon’twant to be.
But I’m quickly distracted as I walk-stumble through the doorway and into the astronomy dome. Because Raelan is here, but so is the princess, and she’s currently straddling him on one of the crescent-shaped couches, and I blink in surprise when I notice that the fingers he has wrapped around her waist are tipped with glinting black claws.
A wave of dizziness comes over me, and I stumble, accidentally bumping into a bookshelf near the door and causing a domino effect in the books, which all tumble down onto one another, making such a loud sound that Alina gasps and whirls around to look at me, her surprise manifesting in snowflakes that momentarily whirl in the air before quickly melting away.
“S-sorry,” I say, then bend at the waist to brace my hands on my thighs and catch my breath.Just breathe. You’re not dying. It’s okay.
“Aric?” There’s a rustle of fabric, then a patter of soft-soled shoes crossing the mosaic floor toward me. “Are you all right?”
I’m sweating profusely, and my heart is thundering again, but I made it. I’m in the dome. And now I’m just really hoping I don’t get sick all over Her Highness’s feet.
“I’m fine,” I grunt between breaths. “Just need... a moment.”
Raelan joins us, and when I glance up at him, he’s regarding me with a tilted head and an arched brow.
Alina places a cold hand on my shoulder—and it feels great, because I’m burning up right now. “What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
When I don’t reply, Raelan says, “You’re afraid of heights.”
I point messily in his direction. “Bingo.”
“Then why are we up in this tower?” Alina asks. “We could’ve done this somewhere else.”
“I... didn’t want to be a pain,” I say, finally catching my breath enough to stand up straight. When I look the princess in the eye, it’s like my brain slams awake. Why is Alina even here? Did Raelan tell her about my dance lessons? “Wait,we?”
Alina glances at Raelan, and it looks like something passes between them—some silent conversation I’m not privy to.Can shifters do that? Mind speak? I’m pretty sure they can. I should’ve paid more attention in ComparativeSpecies Studies.Then the princess turns back to me with a warm smile.
“Yes, we,” she says. “When Raelan mentioned he was teaching you to dance, I insisted on helping. A proper ballroom dance requires partners who understand both roles.” She gestures between herself and Raelan. “And we’ve had plenty of practice.”
Heat creeps up my neck. Of course he told her. I should’ve expected as much. “Do you... know why I’m doing this?”
“For Poppy,” Alina says simply, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Then her lips pull up a bit more in the corners. “Which I think is very sweet.”
My worry must show on my face, because Raelan actually cracks the smallest hint of a smile. “Don’t worry. The princess knows how to keep a secret.”
