“I’m... distracted,” I say. “I’m sorry, Alina. Really. Are you gonna be okay?”
She leans her weight against Raelan and tentatively sets her foot on the tiled mosaic floor. A wince flashes across her face, but she smooths it quickly into a smile. “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Probably no more dancing for me though.”
Yeah, that’s a good call.
Beside her, Raelan frowns. Alina looks up at him, and they do that thing where I’m pretty sure they’re communicating without speaking. It’s kind of awkward to watch, especially when we’re wrapped in silence in this high tower, so I shove my hands into my pockets again and take a step back.
“Well, I should probably go, then. Thank you guys for helping me. And I’m sorry again, Alina.” I take another step back, and she turns her head, pinning me with her blue eyes.
“Wait.” Gently, she puts weight on her foot, then takes a few hobbling steps toward me. Over her shoulder, Raelan glares daggers at me. And... are those flecks ofgoldI see in his eyes right now? I don’t know what that means, but given the look on his face, it can’t be a good thing.
Alina reaches me, and her hand is cool when she places it on my arm. “Are you sure everything is all right? You don’t seem like yourself tonight.”
She’s perceptive.
“I’m under a lot of stress.” I reach up and scrub a hand down my face. “I really just want finals over with. Then I can breathe again.”
Alina nods once, a look of understanding shining in her eyes. “Have you talked to Poppy about it? I know she’d help you with your studies if you asked.”
The idea of taking upmoreof Poppy’s valuable time makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can’t do that. It’d be selfish of me.
I flash Alina a smile, really trying to look convincing this time. “She’s helped me so much this year; without her, I’d have no chance at passing these classes. But I know she’s busy with the ball and studying for her own finals. I need to be able to do this on my own.”
Alina purses her lips. “Poppy doesn’t really study for finals,” she muses. “She mostly just drinks tea and sits with us whilewestudy.” She lets out a laugh, and it makes me smile—for real this time. Then she continues, “But I get it. I know she and Professor Silvermoon are working hard right now to get all the last-minute details in place for the ball. I can’t wait to see how it all comes together.”Her eyes get a bit of a dreamy look in them, like she’s already imagining dancing across the ballroom in Raelan’s arms.
I’m still not sure I’ll be able to lead Poppy through even a single waltz. The thought of crushing her toes makes me wince internally.
“All right, I should probably go. I think I can hear my Warfare through the Ages textbook calling my name.”
“Oh, Ilovedthat class,” Alina says as she pulls her hand away from my arm.
I shake my head and mumble, “I think you’re the only one.”
Raelan approaches, putting his hands on Alina’s waist. He says nothing, but I get the feeling he’s telling me to go.
I always knew shifters were protective, but maybe the dragons are even more so. And I don’t want to press him any further and find out.
Lifting a hand to wave goodbye, I set off toward the doorway. But as soon as I start down the stairs, the smile falls from my face, and I groan.
I messed up with Poppy, I messed up during runeball practice, and now I’m even messing up my dance lessons. Nothing is going the way I want it to right now. I feel like I’m fighting to keep my head above water, but waves just keep crashing over me, trying to pull me down.
Poppy’s face appears in my mind as I descend the steps from the astronomy tower, my feet heavy on each stair. I see the way her glasses used to slide down her nose, the tight black dress she wore on Samhain, the joy in her eyes when she introduced me to Pepper and her mom.
And before I reach the bottom of the staircase, I decide that I have to protect her from my own stress and problems. I want her to be joyful and to look forward to the end of the semester and the Blue Moon Ball, not feel even more worried or like she has a responsibility to help me pass my classes. That’s selfish of me.
Letting her take a step back from tutoring sessions is the right thing to do, thekindthing to do.
I just hope she’ll understand.
Chapter 45
Poppy
THE CLASSROOM SMELLS LIKE FLOUR, sugar, and honey. We’re making honey cakes today, and I watch from across the classroom as Aric carefully retrieves our batch of three from the oven. He’s wearing an apron and oven mitts, and he looks so adorable that it makes my lips pull up on one side.
“What are you smiling at, Brains?” he asks when he gets back to our workstation, three steaming honey cakes sitting on the platter that he lowers onto the table.
“Oh, nothing.”
