"You really were good tonight," I say. "Watching you, captain… It's impressive. The way you fought for Chase, the way the team responds to you."
"Thanks." He glances at me. "I'm glad you came. It means a lot that you pushed yourself to be there."
"Dr. Mills says I need to start doing normal things again."
"How's that going? The therapy."
"Hard. But good." I watch Hartford pass by the window. "She's helping me understand the trauma responses, why I freeze, why I cut, all of it."
"That's good."
"Yeah."
We pull into the driveway. Emma and Chase still aren't back, probably stopped for food or to let Ethan wake up properly.
Jackson kills the engine. Neither of us moves.
"Can I ask you something?" The words come out before I can second-guess them.
"Anything."
"When you're on the ice, when you're in control, commanding the game, does it feel good? Like everything makes sense?"
He thinks about that. "Yeah. It does. Out there, I know my role, know what I'm supposed to do. It's clear."
"I want that." I turn to face him. "I want to feel in control."
"You will. It takes time, but?—"
"No, I mean now. Tonight." I unbuckle my seatbelt. "I want to try something. With you."
His eyes narrow. "Maya?—"
"Let me finish." I take a breath. "What happened to me, the rape, it took my choice away, took my control. My body hasn't felt like mine since. And I need to take it back."
"Okay. How can I help?"
"I want to have sex with you."
The silence is deafening.
Jackson's staring at me like I just suggested we rob a bank.
"Hear me out," I say quickly. "I trust you. Completely. You saw me at my lowest and didn't run. You got me help. You've been steady and patient and safe. And I need… I need to choose pleasure, choose intimacy, on my terms."
"Maya, I don't think?—"
"I've been thinking about this all week, and talked about it with Dr. Mills. She said reclaiming my sexuality is part of healing, that choosing when and how is important. And I choose you. I choose this."
He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't want to take advantage of you."
"You're not. I'm asking. I'm choosing. That's the whole point." I shift in my seat to face him fully. "It would be friends with benefits. Physical. Safe. We set boundaries and rules. We can stop anytime I need to. But I need to do this, Jackson. I need to prove to myself that I can."
"This is a bad idea."
"Maybe. But it's my bad idea." I watch his face carefully. "If you don't want to, that's fine. I'll understand. But if you do, if you trust me to know what I need, then I'm asking."
The war on his face is obvious. Want versus worry. Desire versus protection.
