“No, I wouldn’t,” I promised. “Not on purpose.”
“How fast did you get to me last night?” she asked, stepping forward to run her thumb over my cheek.
“I don’t know.”
“How many men did you go through to get to me?”
“Too many to count.”
“Exactly.” Her lips pulled up at the corners. “That trance, or hyperfocus, or whatever you want to call it? It got you to me when I needed you. Baby, why in the world would you think that was a bad thing?”
I tried to maintain my composure. I stared at the wall. Curled my hands into fists. Clenched my abdominal muscles as hard as I could.
None of it worked.
My breath shuddered out of me in a nearly silent sob.
I’d spent my life hiding that part of me, knowing that humans and Vampires alike would stare at me like I was some wild animal, just waiting for me to lose control. My father had been so adamant that I learn how to lock it down, to never let myself lean into the gift I’d been born with. I understood why. He’d seen friends and fellow warriors lose themselves to the red haze, the feeling of absolute purpose.
But what he hadn’t realized, and I hadn’t either, was that when you already had absolute purpose, there was no reason to look for it in the haze.
I’d felt powerful when it happened. Invincible.
But I felt more powerful when Rosemary smiled at me. When she called my name. When her body clenched around mine, and her teeth sank into my skin.
“I love you,” Rosemary said, leaning in to brush her lips over mine. “Even when I want to rip your head off and use it like a soccer ball.”
I let out a watery laugh and kissed her back.
“It doesn’t scare you?” I asked, pulling away the few hairs that had stuck to the bandage on her face. “When I’m like that, I’m not rational.”
“Will you use it to protect our family?”
“I think last night proved that I won’t have a choice.”
“Would you ever hurt me?”
“Never. I’d die first.”
“Exactly,” she said calmly, her eyes steady on mine.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my life,” I breathed, looking over her battered features.
“Me neither,” she replied softly. “But we made it.”
“Yeah.”
“A berserker,” she mumbled, giving her head a little shake. “Fuck me. I can still be surprised.”
“I didn’t even try to stop it last night,” I replied, swallowing hard. “I didn’t remember that it would feel like that.”
“What did it feel like?” she asked curiously.
I chuckled in embarrassment.
“What?” she asked, a smile pulling at her lips. “Tell me.”
“Like a fucking superpower,” I confessed.
