On top of that, Hazel had become the reason I smiled.
Losing them would break me in ways Julian’s threats never had.
My chest tightened. “He thinks it’s brilliant news. His boss finally approves of him. Problem solved.”
“You told him what your father said?”
“I tried.” The memory of his dismissive expression made my hands clench. “He thinks I’m being dramatic. Catastrophizing. Making problems where there aren’t any.”
Cleo snorted. “Right, because you’re known for your hysterics.”
“He said I was panicking.” I stopped pacing, the hurt still fresh and raw. “That Julian pressuring me was just Julian being Julian. His management style.”
“Oh my god.” Imani’s voice climbed. “After everything Julian’s done to you?”
Cleo shot to her feet. “Remember the camera?”
I groaned. When I was sixteen and stupid enough to think I could have something that was mine, I’d started photographing the paddock, capturing moments between races. Julian had my entire darkroom destroyed within a week. Said it distracted from my studies and my future job at Aedris wouldn’t be in the media pen.
“Or Tom.” Imani shook her head.
The mechanic I’d dated. My father fired him and had him blacklisted from every team on the grid.
Cleo nodded. “And your gap year.”
I’d secured a spot with a children’s literacy nonprofit in Vietnam. Six months helping kids learn English, a chance to figure out who I was outside my father’s shadow. Julian’s lawyers called the non-profit and threatened to sue them for liability issues if they took me. They panicked and rescinded my offer within an hour.
“The journalism internship.”
“Cambridge.”
“Monza 2015.”
They kept bouncing off each other, naming every single thing my father had systematically destroyed.
“Okay, guys, I get it. My dad’s an asshole.” I took a deep breath, trying to rattle loose the rock sitting on my chest. “Can we not recount all the ways he’s fucked with my life right now?”
“Did you tell Griffin all of that?” Imani asked.
“No.”
They both stared at me.
“Why not?” Cleo tilted her head.
“What’s the point?” I threw my hands up. “He’s spent six years dealing with Julian.”
Julian didn’t treat his team any differently than he did me. If you didn’t fall in line, he punished you.
“He dismissed me being followed. He dismissed my fears. He doesn’t want to hear anything but that Julian approves of him.”
My voice cracked on the last word.
“It’s not even about me.” Tears flooded my eyes and I blinked hard, trying to hold them back. “It’s just about Julian’s approval. Him getting the green light. So why should I waste my breath when he doesn’t care?”
“Vi.” Cleo’s expression softened.
“No, I’m done. I’ll finish the season for Hazel.” I picked her up and pressed my forehead to hers.
