I’m not sure, so I don’t answer her.
“Have you considered telling Logan what you had been considering before you heard about his engagement? You know, how you wanted to try dating…” Ginny stops talking, but I dive in with a firm denial anyway.
“Of course not! That horse has ridden into the sunset. I’m not going to bring it up. It will just make things uncomfortable for Logan, and I wouldn’t do that to him.” I kick at the rocks in the dusty dirt path just as we pass the fishing hole off the edge of the creek.
Logan’s fishing hole. He’s not here now. But I feel like I can see him anyway—pole in hand, baseball cap on backwards, blue jeans fitting his ass perfectly like they always do.
“He and Dave were fishing all morning,” Ginny says like she’s reading my mind. “I don’t know where Gigi was. You’d think he’d be spending all his time with her. She doesn’t know anybody in town.”
“Logan always fishes when he has something on his mind that he doesn’t want to process.” I turn back and retrace my steps on the railroad tracks. “Let’s head out onto Main through the empty lot up ahead.”
We walk across the burnt-out grass of the abandoned lot in silence. But once we’ve reached the street, Ginny says, “You must miss him.”
I look over at her. “Looking at him with another woman shouldn’t be difficult, right? Just like all the other times he and I dated other people.”
“I suppose. But I don’t think you ever thought any of those women would last.” She goes quiet for a moment before asking, “You said you finally opened your diary. Starting at the beginning must be kind of hard, isn’t it?”
I don’t want to say how hard. “It’s not the easiest thing. I feel like I poured my heart out once a year into this little secret journal and then locked it up again until the next year. But I never went back and looked at what my heart was saying, you know?”
Ginny nods, and her eyes get big. “Is Logan in it a lot?”
“You know, I’ve only skimmed a few pages so far.”
And he took up the last entry entirely. The truth is that I want to keep reading. I kind of can’t wait to see what the next Logan Wild entry reveals.
“Dave stayed out late again last night,” Ginny says as we cross the street. “When I confronted him, we just got into another argument.”
I flash to Dave and his glassy eyes winking at random girls in Vegas, and then to Ginny standing behind him and using her body weight to hold him up on the stool to prevent him from tipping clear off onto the floor. I remember their engagement party last month when he emerged from the back room with Jennifer Zed, and there was red lipstick all over his face, but he told Ginny that Jennifer took out her lipstick and smeared it on his face for fun.
I stop walking and say the words I’ve been afraid to for days. “Gin, are you sure you want to send out the wedding invites?”
Ginny looks past me to the auto shop up ahead.
“I know as your maiden of honor I’m supposed to stop you from getting cold feet, but I really don’t want you to feel forced into this, honey. You know your parents would let you stay with them if you had to, and my door is always open. I have a spare bedroom you could live in with the baby and…”
“No.” Ginny shoots me a withering look. “I love you so much, Macey, you know that. But I’ll only say this once—no matter what I say or how I act, it’s just the hormones. What I need from you these next two months is your undying support in me and Dave as a couple. Okay? You tell me we’re great together, and the more uncertain I get, the harder you push me into remembering how much Dave and I love each other. Force me if you have to. That’s your job as my maiden of honor. It’s my only request.”
“But—”
Ginny’s eyes close down. “My daddy will be forever crushed if I become a single mother. I’ll be the one daughter of his that disappointed him. I can’t be that girl, Macey. I’ll keep my administrative job at the library so I don’t have to rely on Dave financially, but I must go forward with this wedding.”
I take a deep breath and put my hand over hers. “Okay then. If that’s what you want, I will do my best to keep you focused on the positives.”
“Start now.” Ginny’s shoulders relax. “How is Dave heroic?”
“Um…let’s see. Well, his heroic traits may not be obvious, but that doesn’t mean Dave doesn’t love you. Not all heroes look like fictional characters. Some of the best men are the least obvious choices. And Dave can be very sweet. Remember how he took care of you when you twisted your ankle senior year?”
“He was really caring,” Ginny says.
“And how about the time he stayed up with you all night after your big fight with your mama?”
“That’s another good one.” Ginny gives me a hug. “I’ll focus on those memories. Thanks, Mace. Good luck with what you’re about to do.”
“I’ll need it.” I tell Ginny good-bye and head down the street to Chubby Lou’s Auto Shop.
Logan’s truck isn’t in the parking lot.
But his mother said he would be here by now.
