And I’m scared speechless.
I stand up when he does, and the tortured look in his eyes is the only thing that stops me from grabbing him and kissing him. He pushes past me and disappears around the cypress tree. And I stare up at the stars and wonder how I got my heart into such a mess.
But I don’t go back inside and try to find him.
Instead, I force myself to get into my SUV and drive away before I stop myself in that moment with Logan forever.
Because that moment would be entanglement, not love.
That moment would be my mother hanging on to my father because she doesn’t know what else to do with herself, because she’s not even sure it’s about him as much as it’s about not being alone. That moment would be me holding on to moments filled with pain.
All I know is that it’s hard, and I’m sad, and I wish I’d done more than screw around with Logan all these years. I wish I’d had more strength and more courage and more heart, rather than just making a teenage vow and holding onto it for dear life.
Because then who knows.
Logan
* * *
I let out a string of curse words as I disappear around the corner.
That is the absolute last way I ever planned to tell Macey I loved her.
And it is the absolute worst way I could have done it, spontaneously shouting it at her and then fleeing. Nice, Logan. Just fucking perfect.
The minute I round the cypress tree, I smack into Gigi.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I gesture her to follow me as I walk clear across the property to the front of Brick’s.
She stares at me with big eyes. “Are you backing out?”
“Why do you say that?”
“I heard what you said to her.” Her voice is quiet. “That you love her. That’s the first time you’ve told her, right?”
I look her in the eyes. “I’m not backing out of this. Okay? But I am moving things around.”
“What do you mean?”
“No wedding in Darcy. Just Florida. ASAP.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s what I need.”
I can’t see Macey again before the wedding. If I do, no way in hell will I be able to go through with it. And if I can just get out of the state, maybe I can avoid her.
“What will we tell my parents?” Gigi’s asking me.
“Tell them we can’t sit through two weddings and that we need to get to Florida right away. Tell them whatever will work.”
101
Macey
* * *
When I get up in the morning and can’t stop thinking about Logan, I head into town. I don’t stop moving until I reach Dr. Spellman’s office. She’s available, and she invites me inside.
