He nodded. “But only to you.”
“Crap.” I raise my eyes from the page. “I forgot that this entry spills past my family issues and goes into details of us...” My hormones are dancing again, and I cross my legs together tightly.
“That’s okay. I want to hear about another year in the life of Austen Macey Henwood.” Logan’s tone may be light, but the intensity of his statement hangs heavy in the bar air.
I scrape my nail along the cement floor of the jail cell and don’t answer him for over a minute.
When I finally look up, he’s watching me.
I whisper, “You know what this part is going to be about, and…”
You’re pretty much the undisputed star of the rest of the entry.
Logan’s hand touches my knee again. “I want to hear what was in your head,” he says.
“Okay.” And I keep going…
My face burned, and I tried to walk away, but Logan caught me by the arm and turned me toward him.
“What do you think?” he asked.
I looked at him, about to cry for some reason. And then, I did start to cry, and I couldn’t stop. And Logan put his arms around me and kissed the salty tears off my cheek.
I pulled my head back to look at him, to look deep into his eyes. I leaned forward until I could kiss him gently on the mouth. He put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me closer until I didn’t remember anything about house liens and liquor licenses. All I remembered was Logan’s lips on mine, insistently kissing me until I opened up and let his tongue inside.
I dragged my head back from his. “Only if we make a pact,” I said in an almost desperate voice.
“A pact? You mean like a no commitment pact?” He nodded. “I like that idea. That way we can go right back to being friends after.”
“Exactly. No strings, no attachments, no pressure. No dates, no beds, and no commitment. Ever.”
He stared at me. “Seriously? I’m on board with the no strings and no commitment. I don’t want that kind of stress either. But what does ‘ever’ mean?”
“Forever.” I shrugged. “We never get married—to each other or to anybody else.”
“Why no one else, Mace?” His eyes danced with amusement like he knew.
I went silent for a moment.
Because I want to keep you for myself, and casual is all I can ever handle. Casual is all I ever deserve.
“Wait. Stop for a second.” Logan puts his hand on my thigh. “That’s not what you said to me then.”
“I know. I said this, ‘Because you and I aren’t made for marriage, Logan. We’re free spirits, and we have to make sure we don’t get trapped. So if we make the promise to each other, we’ll keep each other safe from prison. Deal?’”
Logan’s hand is still on my leg. “Yes, we’re free spirits. But is the truth that you don’t think you deserve a real relationship? Is that what you still feel?”
I shake my head. “No. Of course not. I’m just meant to be single. Can we please continue?”
He nods but keeps his hand on me.
Logan’s eyes glowed in the moonlight, and his full mouth twisted into a sort of smile, a sort of frown. “So a lifetime pact to always be alone.”
“A lifetime pact to always be independent, and to never hold each other back. We’ll always let each other go afterward.”
Logan’s eyes locked with mine. “So if we make this pact and have sex, can we have sex again as long as we let each other go after?”
Every hormone in my body vibrated. “Yes.”
