“Except I don’t play football anymore,” Ayden said.
“Because you didn’t love it the way I love to fish.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “And I know you enjoy landscaping and it’s a passion of yours. But the truth is, Ayd, there’s only one thing you love the way I love the boat. Are you smart enough to know what it is?”
Immediately, Ayden’s expression changed. His eyes flashed with emotion the way they only ever do when he’s thinking about Bella. He wasn’t willing to admit to himself yet that she was his world. But I knew even if he didn’t.
“That feeling right there?” I said to him. “The one that just rushed across your damn mug about a certain little girl who was always your best friend but who’s now a beautiful woman? That, my little brother, is how I feel about fishing.”
Ayden stared at me like he was finally realizing what he should have known ages ago.
“I don’t have a Bella in my life,” I told him. “Most of us aren’t that lucky. So you better hold onto her, and don’t fucking let her go.” I clapped his back. “And I’m going to do the same with my boat. Okay? Even if it’s dangerous, even if it’s the biggest risk I’ll ever take, I can’t give it up.”
Ayden sucked in a breath.
“Just like you need Bella to breathe,” I said to him. “I need to fish.”
Emery makes a cute little sound in her sleep, dragging my attention out of the past.
I run my fingers through her midnight hair, the strands soft against my calluses.
That conversation with Ayden feels like a lifetime ago.
He took my advice and never looked back. He would have committed to Bella anyway—they were meant to be. But he didn’t push me away when I put the truth in his face.
I’m not sure I’m that courageous. I tend to push everyone away, even when they’re well-meaning.
But I haven’t pushed Emery away.
Not yet.
I know myself, though.
I may not be pushing her away, but I’m keeping her at arms’ length with our temporary arrangement.
And someday soon, I’m going to have to make a decision about whether I’m willing to go all in.
Because if I don’t, I’m going to lose her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Emery
Turns out Luke’s right.
Cooper and Chase both place in the bronc riding competition, and Luke is cheering right alongside Michael and me and the rest of the Wild clan.
He’s so pumped that, when he turns away to talk to Brayden, I ask Michael in a low tone, “Did Luke used to compete?”
Michael nods. “He was one of the best around. So much talent, and he outworked everyone else. But then…he had an accident. Was told he could never compete again.”
“I had no idea,” I say softly. “That must have been so difficult for him.”
I look past Michael to Luke. He’s staring into the ring where the next competition is being set up. His jaw is tense like steel, and I can read the longing in his expression.
I can’t imagine what it feels like to love your career that much.
Huh. I replay that thought back to myself.
“What’s that?” Michael asks.
