I don’t go to my cabin.Too close to Emeryis the excuse I give myself. But the truth is…I can’t be alone right now.
Normally, I deal with my demons by myself. It’s a bad habit I never kicked. I held the heartbreak inside when Dad died and never let it out.
But this morning threw me for a wild loop. I’m not feeling like myself. So I drive past my cabin and keep moving.
I don’t know where I’m even going until I tap the brakes in front of the main house at Wild Ranch. As soon as I look up at the rustic single-story home, I know what I need.
I park, get out of the truck, and head up to the back porch. No one is around, which I was hoping for. Luke and his brothers all get up at the crack of dawn to work on the ranch, so only one Wild should be in the house right now.
Ayden comes out of the guest bedroom as I’m entering the living room. He’s got his baby boy in his arms, but the little guy is fast asleep.
I reach for Harry on instinct, and Ayden hands him overwithout hesitation. He doesn’t know how much that means to me—his trust in me to care for his child.
“Hey,” he says.
I jerk my head in greeting, and then I spend a moment cuddling Harry, who was named in honor of our dad, his grandfather whom he’ll never know.
Harry already has the same shock of thick dark hair my dad blessed his two sons with. Ayden and Bella already affectionately call him Hal, the only name other than Dad that our father would answer to. And he already has all the Wilds wrapped around his finger.
When Ayden and Bella asked me to be the godfather, I thought they were pulling a prank. Surely, some other Wild would be better cut out for the role. But they were serious as all get out, and I’ll never forget standing up on the altar at Harry’s christening and holding him in my arms while he screamed as the holy water dripped on his forehead. He’s an angel, for sure, and his namesake would be proud.
I stare down at his chubby face, and as I gently touch one of his soft cheeks with my rough hand, a lump the size of the Atlantic Ocean forms in my throat.
When I glance back up at Ayden, he shoots me a closer look.
“I’ll put him into his crib and be back,” he says.
While I wait for him to return, I open the slider and step onto the back porch. I breathe in the smell of pine as I stare out at the fields of green framed by the mountain vista behind them. Such a beautiful view, not to mention the aroma of trees and crisp mountain air, but I’ll still take a stiff Maine breeze amidst the choppy waves of the Atlantic and salty air permeating my senses.
When I hear the slider open behind me, I turn around.
Ayden’s penetrating blue gaze washes over me like afamiliar flannel I wear all autumn long before it gets too cold and I’m forced to turn to my winter coat.
I glance down at the baby monitor in his hand.
He places it carefully on the couch cushion nearest us. “Bella’s out with Savannah and Leleila for brunch.”
I nod before I shove my hands in my pockets and stare back at him.
My baby brother mimics my pose.
For a long beat, neither of us says anything, and I turn away to look out at the mountains again. But I can feel Ayden assessing me with his gaze. He knows me well enough not to ask any questions he knows I won’t answer.
Yet, the pain of what just happened is eating at me. And eventually, I break.
“Why the fuck does this always chase me?” I say roughly.
He furrows his brow. “I’m not following.”
I start to pace the porch. “I come all the way to Montana, and it’s still here. Always freaking here.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Ayden stands still while I walk a full circle around him.
“I’m fucking sick over it.”
He cocks his head. “Wait. Are you talking about your boat?”
