“Thank you.”
I relax into his side and keep looking into the blackness. And then, I see the stars.
Hundreds of them litter the sky. Gorgeous, bright stars, not masked by city lights or any human intervention.
“Wow,” I breathe out.
“Amazing, isn’t it?”
“It’s a different sky than we grew up with, J.”
“Yeah, you can’t find this in a city.”
“Do you make wishes here?”
“I’ve only been up here one time. And it was actually by mistake. I took a wrong turn trying to leave the ranch and got so fucking lost. That’s when I realized just how big the Wild property is.”
“Were you nervous being out by yourself? What if an animal attacked you?”
“Then I may not be here enjoying this view with you. But I was fine. I try not to live in what-ifs.”
For me, the darkness brings back memories I don’t like to think about. Jared is well aware of my fear of the dark.
“Why did you bring me here?” I ask him.
“Because.” He hesitates before continuing. “I want you to find the light in your dark past, Ash. I want that for myself too, I suppose. But you deserve it more than anyone I know.”
“You deserve it too, J.” I lean my head on his shoulder. “All those stars up there are ours for the taking.”
“That’s right.”
“You’re already a star, though.” I smile proudly. “You’ve made your way out of the dark. And I have too, in my own way.”
“Yes, you have. But I feel like you’re holding onto something, something that’s keeping you from fully embracing your present.”
He really can see right through me sometimes. It’s both unnerving and a turn-on.
“Am I right?”
“What if you are?” I ask him in a soft tone that belies my defensiveness. “What if there’s nothing I can do about it?”
“See, I don’t believe that. Whatever it is, you can let it go.”
“But why should I try?”
“Because you deserve to.”
I raise my head off his shoulder and gaze out at the galaxy of constellations like I can become one of them. Maybe if I could, I wouldn’t carry around this guilt with me, a guilt that doesn’t feel healthy but that has become such a part of me I no longer know who I am without it.
Killing my stepfather wasn’t exactly on my list of plans, and while I may not have done so on purpose, the role I did play is something that forever haunts me.
I open my mouth to tell Jared everything. But three beers weren’t enough to loosen my tongue on the only real secret I’ve ever kept from him. I shut my mouth and resist any urge I have to confess or—even worse—act on the impossible desire I have to kiss him.
Out here in the middle of nowhere, it would be so easy to press my lips to his. I can feel the heat of his body against mine, and I can hear every breath he takes.
“I feel safe with you,” I say out loud.
His breath hitches. It’s subtle, but with the stillness of the night around us, I hear it.
