“Real and happy feels unrealistic, I guess,” I say out loud.
Hannah tilts her head and studies me. “That can be true sometimes. Tragedies happen in real life. And we can’t control everything the way we’d like to.” She pauses. “I miss my parents every day.”
I look at her sharply.
“But…” she continues. “That doesn’t mean I wish I’d never loved them, lived with them, and shared all of those years with them. Because as much as it hurt to lose them, the pain was worth the joy.”
“Hannah…” My voice sounds strained and raw.
“It’s okay, Mav,” she says softly. “I know you can’t. Spending this trip with you was still worth what I know will be a hurt-like-hell goodbye.”
Hurt-like-hell goodbye. That’s exactly how it’s going to feel.
Hannah and I get into bed without saying more. Lucky curls up between us this time, and I stare at the ceiling for a long while before I finally get my mind to shut off enough that I can sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Hannah
I cried myself to sleep last night. I don’t think Maverick knew. With Lucky between us as a buffer, me turning away from him didn’t seem obvious.
But today, as we pack up and prepare for the drive to Chicago, I’m still fighting the tears.
The truth is Maverick was right last night. And I was off-sides. We agreed on a temporary affair because he’s about to embark on the career of his dreams, and I’m not ready for a relationship.
How can a runaway bride be ready for anything other than a rebound?
Maverick gave me everything I asked him to. He helped me get over my messy breakup with Craig, and he showed me what a good man is capable of. I’m eternally grateful to him.
But today is where it ends.
And I’m having a hard time keeping it together.
Like he feels it too, about halfway through our drive, Maverick pulls over into a cornfield. We sit on the back of his truck and eat sandwiches we’d picked up that morning. Lucky is sleeping in her carrier behind us.
Not a soul is around.
Maverick puts his hand on my bare knee. “Thanks for being the best road trip partner a guy could have.”
I cover his hand with mine. “Thanks for taking the risk and letting a runaway tag along.”
He dips his head and catches my mouth in his. Our kiss is long and drawn-out, and when he pulls back, I want more.
I reach for his shirt and tug him back to me.
Maverick lays me back on the bed of the truck before joining me. He runs his hand down my breasts and over my stomach.
When we have sex, it truly feels like we’re connecting as one.
We lie entwined with one another afterward as the hot sun beats down on our bare bodies. All I can smell is the cornfields. It’s a perfect moment, one I’ll remember for the rest of my life. I also know it’s the last time we’ll be together.
And so, when we stop for gas, I go into the restroom and have a good cry.
I need to make sure I get it out of my system before we say goodbye in person later tonight.
* * *
Maverick
