So Mama and Daddy are back together, and they kept their word and officially re-married. I was Mama’s maiden of honor, and Riley was a bridesmaid. I held Ben, and Riley held Freedom. Mama and Daddy kissed at the altar—honestly, it was a little embarrassing how long they made out for. I finally kicked Mama in the heel from behind, and she claims she still has the bruise. But you know how she exaggerates.
The ceremony didn’t fix much, though. Mama still throws things, and Daddy still ducks.
And in March, our whole town got excited because the mayor was convinced we’d found the soul mates to free Jane Austen’s ghost. The bride, Agnes Simpson, was said to be the last living descendant to the town founder, and she and her fiancé seemed so adorable and perfect together. She even wore a period piece for her wedding dress, from the Victorian era of course, and it looked so pretty on her. They wrote their own vows and got married at The Cowherd, and Agnes spoke about how, even though she never met her ancestor, she knew in her heart that town founder Frederick Haskins never meant to imprison somebody’s spirit for eternity like he has. He just wanted his wife to be happy again.
It was such a happy day in Darcy. Mama and Daddy were sitting together so nicely, Logan and I were flirting, and the wedding took place without a hitch. Then, everybody raced to the liquor room and threw open the door to see Cell Number One.
Of course, the cell door was still locked up tight, and people were so disappointed and angry that Agnes and Rick have disappeared on an extended honeymoon to Greece, and nobody knows when they’ll be back.
Then, the whole town seemed to unravel. Daddy lost his Bible. Once that happened, he apparently lost his will along with it because his breath stunk of alcohol again. And that’s when Mama and Daddy officially divorced once more, and on that same day, Logan’s father nearly lost his farm to bankruptcy. Mr. Wild was so angry he didn’t speak to anyone for over three weeks, not even to say “thank you” for passing the butter. Dave cheated on Ginny with Samantha Loma, this little flirt who may be cute but has no brains in her head, not a single one. Ginny hasn’t forgiven him yet.
And Mama has given up cooking. That’s right. She says she’s no good at it and never was, so she’s asked me to take over the duties when I’m around. Granted, she taught me everything I know, so I know she’s bluffing and just wants out. But truth be told, I love to cook. I’m happy to do it. At least, for now because, although Daddy’s still living down the street with his brother, he’s been coming by more and more lately. Mama’s been dating other men, and I think Daddy’s finally jealous. This town’s too small for him to not have heard all the gory details. Like how Mama’s dress for her first date was cut so low you could see whatever you wanted. That’s what Jimmy Hendel told me at school. I stepped on both his feet with mine until he howled and took it back. Logan happened by with Blake just as Jimmy was rescinding. Logan asked me if I needed any help, but I had it under control. Now Jimmy’s been ostracized. Good.
“I’m sure you’re bored,” I say as I look up at Logan.
I hope he’s bored. Reading this stuff is hard.
“Not at all bored.” He gestures to the open page on my lap. “I blocked out some of this stuff. I forgot about the bankruptcy thing coming right after Agnes’s wedding.”
I can’t believe how much I’ve forgotten—not the big moments, exactly, but the little ones that led to the big ones. Good or bad, I’ve blocked out more than I care to admit.
I look down at the page I’m on. Oh, here comes Logan.
Logan and I had a fight. A big one, and we haven’t made up yet. He was dating Annette Wasper in January, and I found out Annette was cheating on him. So I told him. But he didn’t want to hear it. And he especially seemed to not want to hear it from me. He told me to stay out of his love life and not get in the middle like I do with my parents. I told him that was a low blow.
I know his relationship with Annette is bound to end in tragedy, but he told me this isn’t Shakespeare, it’s high school.
I told him high school’s almost over and it will be the real world soon enough, but he didn’t want to hear that, either. So, he’s still screwing Annette.
We haven’t talked since, not even a hello. Ginny and Dave complain our fight is affecting their social life because the four of us never hang out together anymore. And Ginny keeps trying to force a reconciliation, but I told her you can’t force things like this. Logan Wild can burn in hell as far as I’m concerned, and I don’t think I’m gonna change my mind anytime soon.
Logan bursts out laughing, and I do, too.
“You know I was never serious about Annette Wasper,” he says. “How could I be—you were the one I wanted.”
My cheeks burn. “We were just…you know…we still dated other people. Sort of.”
“Sort of.” He shifts, and I inhale the scent of his cologne.
Shit. I look back at my journal.
I graduated high school, and that was about as nondescript as I thought it would be. Logan and I both went to the class party afterward, and we avoided each other the whole night. I hooked up with Kenny Closer, and Logan was with Annette again, I think just to prove me wrong. But I saw her last week in the park with a new guy, and they were tongue wrestling. Of course, I didn’t bother to tell Logan this time.
I decided not to go to college; somebody needs to keep Daddy off the bottle, or at least, somebody needs to try.
All those rehabs trips to quit drinking and he can’t get it done? I know why. It’s the bar. How can he quit drinking when he’s ordering kegs of beer and vats of wine, not to mention all the vodka and whisky and tequila? And he likes it all. He’s not picky. Never was. Mama and I have been secretly discussing ousting him from his post, but Daddy’s stubborner than both of us, and I’m sure he’d outlast us all. He did allow me to take over the orders and the day-to-day stuff while he was gone, and I’ve still got the reins even though he’s back. It’s the only way I can think of to keep his mouth off that bottle.
So I’m working full-time now at the saloon. And I’m taking classes at the community college in north San Antonio. Just some business ones, finance and bookkeeping. Mama says math is very important for life.
Being out of school doesn’t feel as great as I thought it would. Don’t get me wrong, I love having no homework, but I feel a bit like a lost soul.
Logan and I finally made up after nine long months of our freeze. And we’ve made love once since then. It happened by chance, I suppose, although I don’t know that I can be that flighty about it. I always say I have no plans for it because it always does seem to sneak up on me, but I know I always want him, and I—
I bite my lip before continuing.
And I probably always will.
Oh God. That sounds so terrible now that he’s engaged. I wish he’d say something…
