Even though I do. I know exactly what he means.
“It would bother me if you got engaged out of the blue like this,” he says. “It would hurt. Honest, if you got engaged at all, it would wreck me.”
I don’t answer him. But I feel better knowing that he feels it, too. The separation from something that never was. Because despite all our unspoken moments together, Logan and I never went on a proper date.
But never dating doesn’t make this any easier for me. If anything, it hurts more. To know that we never tried and failed; we just never tried at all.
“I thought about us,” I say into the night air.
“What do you mean?”
“When you were away in West Texas, I thought about what it would be like if we…”
“If we what?” he prompts me.
“If we tried dating. I was going to ask you, but…”
There. I’ve said it. My secret is out.
“Are you serious?” He curses under his breath. “I’m sorry—of course you’re serious.”
“But obviously our timing was off,” I say in a bright tone. “You’re happily engaged, and that’s that. I shouldn’t have told you.”
“No.” Logan reaches for my hand again and squeezes it once before letting it go. “You should have. I’m glad you did.”
The back door opens with a bang. I jump and sit up, certain it’s going to be Gigi thinking I’m hitting on her fiancé.
But it’s Ben, whose eyes widen when he sees who I’m with. “Hey, Small Woman.”
“Small Woman?” Logan says, still on his back.
“Mace here is Small Woman in theQueen Austenplay.”
“For one night only,” I say. “Just opening night.”
“You’re Small Woman?” Logan laughs. “But you can’t act.”
Ben laughs with him.
“Yes, I still remember my one acting experience as Catherine inNorthanger Abbey.” I glare at Logan. “You laughed so hard I could actually hear you from the stage.”
“I could hear you and I was ten rows away,” Ben says to him.
“You’re a writer, not an actress,” Logan says. “Nothing to be ashamed of. So why are you in the play? My mom never mentioned it.”
“It was a last-minute thing,” I say vaguely. “Mama thought I could learn to emote.”
“Oh, Jesus.” Logan puts his hands over his eyes.
Ben coughs. “So George left, and I’m on my way out. Do ya’ll want me to lock this door too?”
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll walk to my car from outside. Thanks, Benny. Actually, can you turn on the back light so we can see?”
Ben gives me an amused grin and does as I ask then shuts the door with a wave.
Logan sits up next to me and taps my diary between us on the table. “I thought you’d finished it.”
“I have. But Ginny…”God, this sounds stupid. “She’s insisting that I read through the old entries. Like a cleanse.”
