I’m quiet on the drive home, not so much that Mia would think I was upset, just more than my normal.
But something other than losing to my former team is bothering me. Something about Mia’s expression when I looked up at her after the game ended…she nearly looked like someone had died.
I’ve seen my dad’s face after a tough loss, but that’s always more disappointment and anger.
Mia just looked…sad.
We’re pulling into the ranch when I say what’s on my mind.
“Are you going to tell me what you’re so upset about?” I ask her quietly.
I feel rather than see her jerk her head to face me.
“I don’t know what you mean,” she says. “I’m fine. I just feel bad that you lost. I know how important winning is to you.”
We’ve reached the part of the ranch where there’s a pull-out that guests use to access a walking trail into the forested part of the land.
I pull into the paved semi-circle now and cut the engine. We’re immediately covered in darkness with only the half-moon and the plentiful stars as light.
I turn in my seat until I’m facing Mia’s profile bathed in the moonlight.
“You’re important to me, too, Mia. And no offense, but I don’t think you’re fine right now. I saw your face after the buzzer sounded. Maybe I’m not reading things correctly, but whatever was bothering you earlier doesn’t seem to have gone away.”
She brings her knees up to her chin and wraps her arms around her jean-clad legs. She looks so young all of a sudden, and I have a feeling her sadness is about far more than a hockey game.
“Declan, I don’t want to involve you in my messes,” she says as she looks down at her knees. “You’re my fake husband, not my real one.”
Those words hit me like a knife to my gut.
She’s right, of course.
Mia and I got married for all the wrong reasons. I admit there’s no way in hell I’d have a wife right now if the circumstances were different.
But none of that matters in this moment. What matters is that Mia is my wife, for better or worse, for the next year. And I want to…
Fuck, I don’t know what I want to do. I just know I can’t let her shut me out like this on something that’s obviously paining her.
I reach over and run the back of my hand over her cheek. Her skin is soft.
But the part that gets me the most is her reaction to my touch.
She shivers.
Just like she did that night we met when I touched her face.
And I remember my reaction to her shiver—I thought my dick was going to break through my jeans.
I push that memory out of my mind. Right now, I need to comfort Mia, not fuck her.
“Talk to me, Mia. You shouldn’t keep all that sadness buried inside.”
As she turns to face me with those gorgeous blue eyes that are shining with pain, I forget everything except for why I pulled over to the side of the road.
She lets out a shaky breath. “Jamie Beth just pointed out something silly.” She tells me about the jinx comment, and I break into a laugh.
“That’s ridiculous,” I say. “We play eighty-two games a year. You think we’re going to win them all? Doesn’t happen, darling. And tonight’s loss had nothing to do with you being there.”
She nods. “I know it’s silly. And normally, I probably would have joked back with her. This time of year is always tough for me. Last week was my mom’s birthday, and that’s always a hard time for my dad. And then, today is the anniversary of her death…”
