“Should I speak now?” I mouth to Dolores at the side door.
She shrugs her shoulders and cranes her neck to look for Cliff.
The audience is starting to shift around, and I can feel their eyes on me as I continue to stand silently on stage.
“Speak now?” I mouth again to Dolores as we make eye contact.
She puts her hand to her ear like she can’t understand what I’m saying.
Well, if the earpiece isn’t working, then my microphone probably isn’t, either. I take a few steps toward Dolores and say loudly, “Should I speak now?”
My question comes clearly through the microphone attached to my shirt collar, and the audience laughs loudly. At that exact moment, Cliff’s voice crackles into my earpiece. “Sorry, Lei, just got everything up and running. We’re all set. You can speak now.”
My face is on fire as I turn back to the podium and say hello to the audience. Then I begin. “Here’s our first slide, which is a wonderful portrayal of toxic soil…”
The audience gives a small, polite laugh, and I turn to look at the screen. A cow is staring me in the face. I flush with heat and look down at my notes, which are apparently out of order.
I flip through the iPad anxiously, praying for a page that saysSlide Oneon it. After one painfully silent minute with the only sound me tapping keys, I find the correct slide.Cow,it says at the top. No shit.
I pick up the pointer and start again. “Starting over, if you take a look at the cow on slide one, you will see an animal that relies heavily on soil being turned over and pesticides being used at a minimum. Soil is the mainstay of our environment, the foundation for the growth of vegetables, fruits and grains, as well as a necessary ingredient for many animals to remain healthy.”
By the time I hit the fifteenth slide, I’m in a groove. I even crack a small joke, and it’s as the audience is chuckling that I glance out and see Brayden. He’s sitting near the back on the outside aisle. His eyes zero in on mine like lasers, and I lose my breath temporarily. How silly I must look standing up here talking about dirt. I will myself to keep it together and move on to slide sixteen.
* * *
Brayden
Leleila’s voice always sounds sexy, but it takes on an authoritative tone as she delivers her speech, and it’s driving me fucking wild. The way her jeans hug her curves—those hips that look like they were made for my hands to hold, those breasts that are trying to peek through the thin fabric of her blouse, and that sweet ass I can’t stop staring at whenever she turns to point at a slide.
I like Leleila as a friend and as a person. But the more time we spend together, the less I can deny the truth: like my cousins said, I also want her.
Once everyone cleared out of my house and I was alone, she was even harder for me to stop thinking about. I got off to her in the shower this morning, and after watching her like this on stage, no doubt I’ll be doing the same thing tonight. I’m addicted to her curves that I can never touch, to her lips that I can never taste, and to every other part of her that’s forbidden to me.
So what the hell am I going to do about a crush that makes me feel like a teenager? I have no fucking clue.
Even if I were to quit working at her sister’s store and try the walk-away route, I know I wouldn’t be able to stay away. Because she’s my friend now. I care for her more than I’ve ever cared for a woman. And she needs me right now. I wish she’d always need me, but I’m not naïve. Once she marries, our friendship will essentially end.
So I’m going to be everything she needs for as long as she wants me in her life.
* * *
Leleila
After I’m done speaking, I stand at the edge of the stage with the sign-up sheet next to me. Dolores corrals people into line as one by one they come up to glance at the literature on sale and sign up for our free e-newsletter.
As Dolores takes payment from attendees who want to become annual members, I catch a glimpse of Brayden chatting with Sophia and Slammer. Sophia throws her head back and laughs, obviously enjoying being able to flirt with two men at once.
“Leleila?” Patsy appears at my elbow. “If you need to leave, I can take over from here.”
I thank her and grab my purse from the back of the stage. As I walk toward Sophia, I pray someone will look up and notice me before I have to awkwardly insert myself into their conversation.
Of all the options, it’s Slammer who calls out to me. “Hey! Leleila’s here!” He throws his arm around my back as soon as I reach them.
“Hi…Slammer,” I get out.
I turn and say hi to Brayden, hoping no one will mention my talk and how much I screwed up.
“Let’s get out of here.” Sophia grabs Slammer’s hand and pushes me so that I end up ahead of them and next to Brayden. “Save the Soil creeps me out when I’m around it too long.”
