I rarely touch myself. And when I do, I never achieve orgasm. But thinking about Brayden Wild just got me off, my orgasm rocking my body with a power I’ve never felt before. Guilt overwhelms me, and I sit up, fix my jeans, and try to smooth my hair back into a ponytail.
I go upstairs to wash the tears off my face. I’m not sure where all the emotion is coming from. Maybe it’s relief because I never knew I could do this by myself. I never knew I could do whatIwanted, something just for me, for no other reason than that I deserve to be happy.
When Phillip’s still not home after I’ve taken a shower, I give up on talking to him tonight. I climb into bed alone and turn off the light.
* * *
Brayden
I drive back to the ranch, but I don’t go directly to my house after dropping Leleila off. I can’t. I’m so fucking wired from spending time with her—I feel like my dick is going to explode.
And my heart. Because the vulnerable way Leleila threw herself at me when she saw that excuse for a human being in the bar—it was all I could do not to put my mouth on hers until she calmed down.
Knowing that wasn’t an option, I went for the second best thing I could think of; I held her. Taking her to dinner and getting a chance to know her, to talk, was the highlight of my night. Leleila’s funny and quirky and down-to-earth. She’s also ridiculously smart, which just might be the only thing she and her fiancé have in common.
I drive along the dirt path through the back of the property and pass by the edge of an open field. Stars litter the sky, and as I watch, a shooting star crosses above me. I keep driving, though, because the kind of dreams I’m wishing for right now involve a woman who’s not available. And that’s not the kind of guy I am. I want Leleila to get married to the man she loves and to live a happy life. She deserves that. If I can help her get there by being her friend, I’m happy to do it. And if it hurts? That’s something I’ll have to figure out how to work through.
Everything will be fine. Leleila and her fiancé will get married. I’ll buy the ranch. And we’ll go our separate ways.
Trying to ignore the ache in my chest, I turn for home.
By the time I step inside the guesthouse, Ayden and Bella are asleep in my room, Jasalie’s in the spare room, and Cam’s sacked out on the couch. Not wanting to talk about Leleila, I sneak past him and go out to the porch to try to get some sleep.
As soon as Leleila walked into the saloon, I knew Cam and Ayden were going to see right through me.
That’s why I’ve always kept my personal life private. I love my cousins, but having five nosy guys is as bad as five curious women. Maybe worse because my cousins aren’t polite or civil about wanting to be in on a secret; they just keep pushing until they know everything.
* * *
Sure enough, while the five of us are touring Jasalie and Dylan’s wedding venue the next day, Cam and Ayden corner me when the three of us are outside taking a break from hearing about flower arrangements and meal options. The mountains are all around us, and the air is still and quiet. It’s peaceful, and the sun is shining. But I know what’s coming, and Cam doesn’t disappoint.
“So. Leleila’s a nice name.” Cam’s tone is light, but I know he’s just getting started.
I point at him. “Don’t.”
“She’s got a nice ass, too.”
I’m on him so fast he doesn’t have time to fight back. I pin one arm behind his back and wrestle him face first onto the grass. Not enough to shut him up, though.
“And a nice rack,” he says in a tone meant to drive me over the edge.
I dig my knee into his thigh until he curses. I’d keep going, but Ayden’s involved now; two strong arms wrap around my middle, forcing me to release my youngest cousin, who I want to put through the damn picture window not ten feet away from us.
“Cam, back the fuck up,” Ayden says. “Forcing Brayden to talk about a woman never works.”
Cam flips over onto his back. His face is red, but his devilish grin is still in place. “You can’t keep her from us forever,” he says. “What’s the big deal, anyway? You obviously like her.”
I don’t say anything; instead, I pick up a stray rock and chuck it toward the open field to our left. It doesn’t come close to hitting the mountains, but it sails.
Ayden whistles. “You can still throw. You’d think you’d played quarterback and not receiver.”
Some of the unbearable tension I’ve been feeling since last night leaves my shoulders, and I let out a deep exhale.
Ayden takes a seat next to Cam on the ground, and I sink down to a squat in front of them.
“She’s fucking taken.” My voice is so quiet I’d have thought they didn’t hear me except for Cam’s low whistle. “Bella and Jasalie didn’t say anything?”
“Bella said something, but honestly, I had a little too much to drink, and I was so jetlagged I didn’t really understand what she was saying,” Ayden says.
