“In his arms,” she says. “You know, over a stream or something fantastic like that. It’s always in the romance novels that way.”
“Mom, I had no idea you read romance novels,” I say. “I thought that was beneath you.”
“Oh, who doesn’t love a little romance now and again?” She giggles. “Right Fred?”
Dad chuckles, and I hastily tell them goodbye.
Then I take a deep breath and call Gerry. I have to leave a voicemail, but he calls me back within the hour and agrees to meet me at Huckman Hall for tea.
* * *
Gerry sits quietly until I’m done telling him my decision and my reasons behind it. He reacts in silent surprise—I only catch it in his eyes—when I tell him Phillip and I ended our engagement, and then he says, “So what are you going to do? Because I know you couldn’t have made either of these decisions lightly.”
“No,” I say. “Not at all. Actually, there is something…” I tell him about my painting.
“I saw the mural at the store,” he says. “And I wondered who did that. It’s quite eye catching, you know.” He smiles. “I’m proud of you, Lei. I admire what you’re doing very much.”
“Thank you for always trying to guide me in the right direction even when I was so far off,” I tell him.
“And you and that guy in the paper,” he says with a twinkle in his eye. “Your partner in heroism…he wouldn’t have anything to do with your future, would he?”
I smile at him innocently. “Why would you say that?”
“Just a hunch,” he says. “Pretty impressive stuff that you two sleuthed out, by the way. You don’t need to be tenured to see that.”
I smile wider. “No, I guess not.”
I leave Sophia a message that I’ll call her later, and then I take three days alone. I work, and I paint, and I enjoy my own space. I need to make it mine before I invite him into it. I also do something I’ve been avoiding.
I call a therapist in Missoula, someone a colleague mentioned she saw and highly recommended. I make an appointment with her for next week to discuss my past trauma and how to get a handle on it. If I ever run into Noah again, I don’t want to feel like I have to hide. And if I’m going to be in a healthy relationship with Brayden, I want to feel strong and in control of my life, not like I’m running from old demons.
I also can’t avoid Sophia. By the end of day two, she’s called ten times, and when I do return her calls, she insists on meeting me at the café.
“Okay,” I tell her. “But I’m still figuring my life out. I’m not sure I’m ready for an outside opinion.”
* * *
Sophia stares at me as I walk through the doors.
“What?” I say as I sit across from her at the table.
She blinks and then shakes her head. “Nothing,” she says, and I’m almost disappointed. “I just had this crazy thought the other day when we saw each other, but then you left the store so fast to get back to work. And then, when I saw you walking through the door just now…” She stops as she stares at me again and gasps. “Holy fuck! You lost your purity ring, didn’t you?”
I shush her. “Quit yelling. I’m not sixteen. Or religious.”
She lowers her voice. “But did you? Did you have sex with Brayden?”
I nod and try not to smile any wider than I am.
“And?” she starts to ask. Then she looks at me closely again and surely notices the sparkle in my eyes and the happy glow in my face, a glow that hasn’t disappeared despite the days apart. “I don’t even need to ask you. Congratulations on having amazing, life-changing sex, Lei.”
“It’s not just that. I mean, yeah, that’s great. But I love him. A lot.”
“I know you do. It’s so awesome!”
I keep smiling.
* * *
