Five words. Five words that hang out there like an announcement in the cool night air.
I can see Brayden’s throat working as he swallows hard. “You’ve got my attention, Lei. Do you feel ready to talk about it?”
His thoughtfulness touches me, and I squeeze his hand tighter. “Yes. No.” I let out a quick laugh. “Later.”
He brings our hands up to his mouth and lightly kisses my palm. “Later’s good.”
* * *
Hours later, Brayden and I are finally alone in the far back of his truck. Some vehicles are just driving off while other people hang out in the remaining scattered trucks. Sophia’s already asleep in the back of a truck with a few of the women she partied with all evening.
Cam disappeared with a woman Brayden said, “…is perfect for Cam tonight because she’s not expecting him to call her tomorrow. And he needs that right now.”
Jenson and Olivia are in Colton’s truck, and I can’t see them now that the fire’s nearly burned out and there are no flashlights bobbing around the field.
Nobody else is close to us, and it feels like we’re the only two people in the world. Brayden stretches out his long legs and fixes the blanket so we’re both sitting on it. I lean against the wall of the truck bed, trying not to ogle him in his sexy jeans and cowboy boots.
“This has been a good night,” I say quietly. “Thank you. For encouraging me to come.”
“I’m glad. You deserve to move forward. You know I’m sure not a savior or anything like that.” He lifts his arm to gesture around us. “I’ve got a lot of sides, as does everyone, but partying in the sticks is one of them.” His gaze zeroes in on mine. “Part of me thought you’d come, and we’d realize we really were from two different worlds, and that would be the end of it. Kind of like a painless but surefire way to stop this train we’re on. Because to be honest, I didn’t know how else to stop it.”
“You thought that would be best?”
“No.” His tone drops. “I think you know what I mean. I’m talking about the fire between us that doesn’t want to go out. Because since I ran into you again at Big Sky Grocer, you’ve been spoken for. I like being with you, Leleila. Too much. And there was a part of me that thought maybe you’d come here tonight, and it wouldn’t work out. I figured you’d see me like this and realize how much better you are than I am. I’m no saint, unlike all these people you’re related to and hang out with.”
“Sophia’s a saint? I didn’t realize that.”
Brayden’s lip quirks up. “I didn’t mean Sophia. I just thought it would matter to you with somebody like me because Sophia’s just a friend. She’ll always be just a friend.”
“What are you?” I whisper as I lean closer to him.
He swallows and tries to look away. I put my hand on his chin and keep him looking back at me.
“I’m…” His voice is hoarse. “I’m a friend too. A friend who’s sometimes wished that he’d re-met you before you were taken.”
I could stare into Brayden’s beautiful eyes forever. “But I’m not taken anymore.”
I’m single. And I don’t want to live the rest of my life unhappy. Maybe I’ve finally decided to sort everything out so I truly do what’s best for me.
Brayden’s eyes flash, and he leans forward but stops with his lips inches from mine. “What happened, Lei? I need to know before I…” His mouth comes so close I can’t believe it doesn’t touch me. “Before I do something I’m not supposed to do.”
My stomach lurches. “I’ll tell you the story,” I say as I put my hands into my lap. “But I never want you to think I’m using you for something so shallow as a temporary fling. Because you’re my best friend, Brayden. I really, really like you.”
Brayden brushes my cheek with his lips. “I want to kiss you, Leleila. No matter how confused things are right now.”
I sit back. “I’ll fill you in on everything first. I told you how I’ve been with Phillip since I was sixteen. He’s the only guy I’ve ever dated. He asked me out, and I accepted, and it just kind of went from there. My dad was so happy and proud I was dating him. He thought Phillip would take care of me, I guess. After the way I’d lost faith in myself, Phillip became my rock. And when my parents went to South America for research for most of my senior year, I leaned on him even more.” I pause, but Brayden’s nods like he’s interested. “We were both into our studies, and we both hated the party scene. I thought what I had with Phillip was special because everyone, including me, thought he was so special. But we’ve drifted in the last couple of years, and I should have been paying better attention. When Phillip kept leaving me for work, at first it felt like it came out of left field. But now, I realize he was calling attention to a much bigger issue.”
Brayden straightens up. “He got to you, didn’t he? He made you think you don’t have a right to be upset?”
“No, I think I have a right. I would be more upset if I didn’t feel such obvious…”
His breath quickens. “Such obvious what?”
“Relief.” There. I’ve said it. The emotion that’s been messing with me all week. “I felt relieved when I broke it off with him. Free. Maybe even a teeny bit…happy.” The last word comes out choppy. “I moved in with Sophia—temporarily, only until I find a place—and even though I’m sleeping on the couch, and have no idea what the hell my future’s going to look like, I feel better than I have in months.”
Brayden rests his forehead against mine.
I look closely into his eyes. “I’ve felt broken since that night. Like nothing, and no one, could put me back together again. Until I ran into you at the store.”
