Chapter One
Twelve Years Ago
Leleila
The dark strobe-lit basement is filled with wall-to-wall high schoolers getting wasted at their self-titled Football Is Paradise and Cowboys Are Cool Party, and I don’t fit in. But I push forward through the loud country music anyway, moving away from the bass coming out of the corner speakers and determined to find the center of all the fun. I grab an empty red solo cup at the table, and get in line for the keg.
Since this is the county-wide football party held every Christmas season, teams come from all over the area. And in our part of Montana, that’s a lot of teams.
But I have my sights set on one player in particular. He’s the reason I talked myself into coming tonight. I push my glasses up on my nose and shift awkwardly from one leg to the other as I look around for him. I see Stella waving at me, and I smile in relief when she comes over and hugs me.
“You look amazing, Leleila!” she says as she touches my fitted red knit sweater with the outline of a heart on the front. “I love your top! I couldn’t see it at the game; it was too cold to take off our coats!”
“Thanks,” I say. “It’s like the only thing I could find in my closet that didn’t make me look like a total dork.”
“Did your parents say it was okay to come here?” she says. “Mine think I’m at the movies with Delvin.” She points to her boyfriend across the way. “He’ll cover for me.”
“My parents are so disappointed in me for not acing my science exam that they didn’t really care where I went to tonight,” I say sadly. “As long as they didn’t have to look at me. My A in art class didn’t count for much.”
“You got a B- in science! That’s like perfection in my book.” Stella squeezes my arm. “Let’s just forget about school for a night, okay, and enjoy our junior year for once. Oh look, there’s your cowboy crush,” she adds in a whisper. “Remember our pact; tonight’s all about being sixteen and free. You’re going to follow your heart, and try to ignore that brilliant brain of yours for the night.”
Before I can answer her, Noah appears next to me. “Lei, I’m glad you decided to come,” he says, slinging an arm around me. “Thanks again for letting me cheat off your math test yesterday. Can’t believe you’re only a junior and taking the class with all seniors. You know I can’t afford to get kicked off the team. Who would catch the big passes then, right?”
I smile at him, wishing I were brave enough to reach out and touch the cowboy hat perched over his wavy brown hair. “Sure. Math’s easy for me, so no big deal.”
He offers to fill up my cup. I look underneath his hat at his bloodshot hazel eyes and resist at first, but his smile is focused only on me. I relent and give him the cup. Stella hugs me and says she’s going to make out with Delvin. I watch her go, half-wishing I could turn around and go home.
While I wait on the fringe of the crowd, I nervously fiddle with my hair and glance over at the beer pong contest in the corner.
Two guys in cowboy hats are going at it hard with the winner walking away with his arms in the air victoriously. He looks back at me over all the girls draping themselves on him, and our eyes lock. I freeze when he gives me a quick nod. I have the urge to walk over to him, but I hold my feet where they are and don’t move.
He tosses his cowboy hat onto the nearby couch. His dirty blond hair is messy and he keeps his gaze on me as he peels off his Keep Montana Wild t-shirt, revealing glistening tanned skin and muscles on muscles. The tattoo on his bicep stands out even from a few feet away. I can tell from his body and the way he carries himself that he’s a football player, but he’s not from our school. No way I’d forget him. His worn-out jeans hang low on his hips, and I swallow as he pushes the girls away and starts walking in my direction.
I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved when Noah returns to my side, and I shift my attention to him.
“Full of good beer,” he says with a grin as he hands me back my cup now filled to the brim. “Drink up.”
I send one last glance at the Keep Montana Wild guy before letting Noah lead me over to a corner where he pushes the cup to my lips and props his arm against the wall over my head. I take a look at him, wanting to feel his arms around me. But then, I glance down at my cup, and I know Stella was wrong. I can’t ignore my brain because all I can hear in my head right now is, “the date rape drug is odorless.” And something about this drink just feels off.
“I don’t think I’m thirsty,” I decide before dumping the cup of beer into the nearby trash can and walking away.
Noah follows me and takes me by the arm as we pass an open doorway. Before I can react, he drags me through the door and slams it shut behind us.
I gasp. “Wha—”
He pulls me toward the bed and throws me onto it. I take one panicked look into his eyes that are glazed over with alcohol or something stronger, and fear hits me so hard I feel sick. I lurch up off the bed and bolt for the door. As soon as I put my hand on the doorknob, Noah twists me and presses my back hard up against the wall. Keeping me still, he shoves his tongue down my throat.
I struggle against his heavy weight, but he grips my waist so tightly it hurts.
“You’re not getting out of here that easy,” he mutters as he pulls back and reaches for the button on my jeans. “I asked you here tonight for a reason, and you know it, you tease!”
“No—”
He tears my pants down to my knees and rips my panties as his fingers reach for the place I never gave him permission to go, a place where no man has been before.
Terror slices through me. I’m way out of my comfort zone without a book or a brush in my hand, and Noah is far stronger than I am.
My panicked mind reaches for something, anything, and I flash back to the self-defense classes my parents signed June and me up for last fall.
