“She warned me not to mess up with you.” His lips turn up in a casual smile, but as he shifts to face me at a stop light, his eyes say something else.
I clench my hands in fists. “Don’t listen to her. She’s a bit protective. All three of my sisters are.”
“I like that she does that for you.” He pulls off at the same lake we went to before the fundraiser. “Can we talk for a few minutes?”
I figured he’d probably want to talk about the family drama I just dropped him into on date one.
“Of course.” I unbuckle my seat belt as he parks in the empty lot.
I can’t see the lake, but I can feel the vast body of water in front of us, and it soothes me.
“So this thing at the lawyer’s all went down okay?” he asks in a casual tone.
“Yeah, it was fine.” I wave my hand in the air as I twist to face him. “Mama didn’t even need brandy for the signing. She needed it for the divorce papers, but not the house. So that’s progress.”
“That is,” he agrees. “Was it a family affair last time too?”
“It was. Mama couldn’t get it done without all of us present. Lawrence McMann isn’t an easy man to let go of.” I’ve run out of words, and without the loud bar music or Celie’s rambling, I feel the silence for the first time since I was alone in the bathroom at Hal’s.
“Was it difficult?” Cam looks into my eyes and asks me the hard question, the one I don’t want to have to answer.
I glance at him, trying to act casual. But I can’t lie to him. “Yes,” I say as my throat tightens. “It was difficult. It sounds so stupid, but it was.”
He shifts over to the middle seat and puts his arm around me, pulling me close to his beating heart. “It doesn’t sound stupid. Honey, I’m not trying to judge your relationship with your father.” Cam’s voice is low and soothing. “My father and I have a fucked-up relationship ourselves, and I’d be the last person to make a verdict on yours. I don’t know what your life was like with him.”
I lift my head and try to thank Cam for coming with me tonight, but he takes my hand, and I forget my words. His eyes darken, and I know what’s coming.
He leans in to kiss me, and instead of handling it casually like I’d vowed to do, I back away like a prey animal.
“Too fast?” he says.
“No. Sorry.”
“Is this not okay?” he asks.
“No!” I say. “It is! I mean yes. It is.”
Cam leans in again, and the same thing happens.
I back away from him.
“Savannah.” His tone is calm and level.
“Sorry.” I dip my chin in the collar of my coat and go silent.
He puts his hand on my shoulder and buries his nose in my neck. “Do you expect to be rejected?” he asks me in a whisper.
His question is so raw, so honest, but I can’t answer him, because to give a response of any honesty would unleash a torrent of confessions I’m sure he’s not ready to hear.
But Cam doesn’t know my backstory. And keeping such a big part of my life from him doesn’t feel fair. I can’t expect him to understand me in the present if I don’t let him into my past.
So I take a breath and risk sending Cam running clear across the state when I blurt out—
“Do you want to know about him?”
Chapter Seventeen
Cameron
